what?

What is God teaching you?

I had a friend in high school who would ask me this question on a regular but spontaneous basis. And you know something? Sometimes I hated it. There were so many days when in the midst of a conversation about smoothies and haircuts she would look at me and say "yeah. What's God teaching you right now?" and so many of those times I was caught off guard and didn't have an answer. Sometimes it was because it takes me a minute to put it into words, sometimes because I had to put all the pieces together, and yet sometimes because I wasn't seeking the Lord in the way I needed to be. It's a question I ask myself often now. It's a question I sometimes miss being asked so blatantly.

The other night I was in my room (or my lair... that's generally what I refer to it as when I have so much work to do that I have no choice but to shut myself in...) reading and writing when someone knocked on my door. It was my sweet friend Kendall and she was just bursting with excitement to tell me about what the Lord had been speaking to her the past few days. And you know what? As we stood there and talked about Scripture and the small callings that God is placing on both of our hearts, I couldn't have been more excited. Her passion for it was contagious and I think we both walked away mutually encouraged. That's what the body of Christ is about-- encouraging one another, keeping one another in check, lifting one another up.


"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." -Colossians 3:16

I can't get over how beautiful and true that verse is.

Our conversation that night was so beautiful as we both unpacked our struggles, our dreams, and the things that Christ is beginning to speak to us that may seemingly make no sense for today but will undoubtedly lead to big things down the road. It's a beautiful thing when you find those kind of friends. We as people are meant to grow in Christ independent of one another, but to be walking right beside one another encouraging and correcting. It's the concept of discipleship. It's so critical to find people in life who will walk beside you to continually point you right back towards the cross with honesty and with love.

So my questions for you today are this: Who are you walking beside and what is God teaching you today?

I'll leave this one with the song that has been stuck in my head for at least a week now. I actually literally dreamed about worshiping to this song last night. Is that weird? Maybe. But I love the message here. I especially love the line- "More than worth these longings of my heart left unfufilled for a time". He is so more than worth everything and so deserving of all our devotion. So enjoy this video! (or at least the audio, because it seems this song must best be paired with pictures of flowers? evidently)

1000 words

I confess that lately I've become a huge fan of taking pictures on my iphone, despite the fact that they're not always top quality. So I thought I'd give an update on the past week of my life via the most recent iphone pics. 

 

I had a great time with this guy this past weekend. Oddly enough, this is the only picture we took the entire time... swedish meatballs at Ikea for my mom. She has some sort of life-long dream to get some. Anyway, we had a blast just hanging out-- going for walks, watching football, making soup... and going to ikea. He loved it. Okay, maybe not so much but that's okay :)

From there, I headed to Nashville for the kidmin conference and got to spend the week with this awesome group of people. They were such a blessing-- we had a fantastic time together as we laughed, served, and talked a lot of leadership. The conference was a success. I definitely had a lot of great takeaways and got to connect with some solid people as well as seeing some faces I hadn't seen since the summer. It's always so good to hear what the Lord has done in people's lives since they were at camp and it was beautiful to hear 600 children's ministers worship together and be refreshed and restored. Mmm.

And of course, the Duggars were there. Yep, all 21 of them. We had such a great time playing with them.

 

Speed scrabble... I know it says lose, but I definitely won... twice. I was trying to be fairly incognito with this picture. 

I love this picture of Meredith teaching her how to play with the camera.

And here's the other side of that picture. So cute.

This is the infamous Baby Josie. She's gotten so big. As we tried to take her picture she kept reaching for my phone and saying "Baby Duggar!". She definitely knows she's a celeb...

This kiddo is a mess. He worked the merch table with me and continually tried to steal my money. Despite what you may think, my face doesn't always look like this. We taught the kids how to do the scramble and they LOVED it. Look for many ruined pictures from the Duggar family soon. Of course he decided to let me scramble alone in this one... meanie.

I did it. I opened the Barbosa's box. Anybody who came to camp this year will know why this is huge... I now know what's inside. But I won't tell :)

And my journey continues from here. This is definitely a favorite photo from right outside my brother's house here in Nashville. I'm headed out tomorrow and have a few things left to do before the real world catches back up to me. My week off has been great and I know that after talking camp and ministry all week, it's going to be a real challenge to do so much school work again. Today I've been on a picnic with a puppy, ate ice cream with old friends, and enjoyed the world's most perfect weather. Please don't be over yet... I don't want to go back. 

Alas, for now I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my time in Nashville. Love this place. Til later, friends!

afternoon

Just a quick update for the afternoon...

It's finally fall here in Athens and we've been loving every minute of it. Between playing games with roommates, Saturday football games, and friends coming in and out of town, I'm trying to squeeze a little school work in along with it all. Senioritis is a real problem. I can't believe it's already October...

A few Fridays ago I got to go to The Fabulous Fox in Atlanta to see Wicked with some sweet friends. Aren't they beautiful? I hope I get to be this pretty when I'm a mom. It was such a fun evening out-- we walked two blocks the wrong direction in high heels, ended up at a Steak N Shake at 1 am, and laughed more than anything. Loved it.

Daniel is coming today. Like any minute now. I am currently the way I always am when waiting for something like this... antsy. Like super antsy. Like keep-getting-up-and-walking-across-the-room-to-look-out-the-window antsy. Call me crazy, I'm just ready to see him. :)

I'm spending all of next week at the Lifeway Kids Ministry Conference in Nashville! I'm super excited to see some wonderful people and to get to work behind the scenes all week. Annnnd the Dugger's are going to be there. That's right, all 19 of the 19 Kids and Counting. Or is it 20 now? I don't even know.

Post conference I'm going to spend a few days with my sweet brother in NashVegas. So excited to see that boy and his puppy too! I'd expect pictures to come soon.

Gonna be such a good weekend... I'm off to look out the window again.

perfection

Happy Fall, friends! I'm so excited that it's finally time for long sleeves, candles, and mounds of warm pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. And trust me, we've thankfully had lots and lots of those lately...

I've started reading the book I mentioned in my last post, Grace for the Good Girl, and while I'm enjoying it, I have to admit that I originally didn't think I related to it quite as much as I had expected to. However, the more I think about it the more I begin to see myself in the book. I can see a lot of truth in it. The basic concept so far is that we as women (or really just as people in general) try so often to paint the picture of perfection in our lives... to be the perfect friend, the perfect wife, and the perfect mother. Now, I'm not married nor do I have children but I can see glimpses of how this plays out in my own life-- I do try to be a good roommate, a good leader, a good girlfriend, a student, a good daughter. I think it's the reason I like my room to be clean, I like my clothes to be well put together, and I like to do things like spend time on Pinterest looking at things that are (in slightly painful honesty) largely unnecessary.  We as girls make DIY crafts, complement each others nails, and strive to throw the worlds most elaborate 5 year old birthday parties. We live life making orange jello boats. (Any girl at the B can explain that one to you.) We like to have it all together. We like to go above and beyond on projects, like to make the best cupcakes, and like to have perfectly naturally curly hair. We like to have the best ideas, the sweetest personality, the cutest boyfriend. (which I do. there's really no room for argument there.) We like to be the world's best listeners and the world's best organizers. We like the laundry to be done and the volunteer work to be praiseworthy. I'd love to say that people view my life as successful, as blameless and pure, and that people see me as a leader and a friend. I'm not saying that these things are necessarily true, I'm just telling you the picture that I would like to paint most days, whether I want to admit to it or not.

And I would say based on feedback that in general, people tend to think I have my act pretty together. But you know what? I fail at a million of those things every single day. I didn't make my bed this morning and there's a small pile of laundry sitting beside my closet. I leave my shoes everywhere and there are more bobby pins lurking throughout my house than there are in their container in the bathroom. Yesterday I found my hairbrush in the back of my car. It's been there since I last went to Mississippi... two weeks ago. And because that makes me feel like an inadequate girl, I decided I'd spend a little extra time this morning fixing my hair and putting on makeup. The result? Black mascara down the front of my favorite J. Crew shirt and somehow also smeared across my white comforter. I don't always do my homework, I forget people's birthdays, and I get frustrated easily. I put too many things off til tomorrow. I'm bad about calling people back and I talk about myself far more than I listen. My prayer life isn't what I'd like it to be and I often don't even notice the hurt of those around me. I don't have it all together. I hope I don't pretend to.

But sometimes that's the direction that I'm heading. I fill up my pinboards with cute things and sit around with the women in my life and oo and ahh at Pottery Barn magazines over cupcakes, filling my life with things that make it look appealing and neatly packaged. And is any of that inherently bad? Absolutely not. The problem becomes when these things overshadow honesty and grace in our lives. I was so touched and humbled lately at reading a post by a wonderful mother about her daughter's third birthday party.  Adam student taught my chemistry class in high school and he and his adorable wife, Becca, have sold their lives out to answer their call to ministry in downtown Atlanta. They've been faithful through chaos lately with the recent birth and heart surgery of their precious son, Caden. I loved reading her story of finding what is truly important through the birth of her son. I admired her honesty as she talked about realizing that her elaborate party planning skills and cute decor took a backseat as she lived life with a clear perspective. You should check out their story. Their hearts and their faith encourage me all the time.

While I haven't quite gotten to that part of the book, I'm truly realizing how grateful I am that in the midst of all my imperfections there is grace. Praise God that He never asks perfection of me but that is a two fold thing. Not only does He not ask for perfection of me, but He doesn't ask for me to paint a false picture of perfection to the world either. At surface level, I don't think I'm someone who struggles with this. I very much wear my emotions on my sleeve. In fact, I have a hard time keeping most things to myself. If I'm upset, odds are I'm going to let you know it. But the more I examine it, the more I realize that I daily do let my world become centered around myself more than it is centered around the Gospel and maybe somewhere inside of me I write blog posts and post pictures and tweet scripture all day to falsely say that I have my life in order. Nobody does. I don't want to claim to. Because at the root of all of that, it boils down to who I desire to receive glory in my life. Second Corinthians 12:19 claims "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." If I hold that to be true (which I absolutely do) then I have to recognize that it is my imperfection that reflects Christ's perfection and points all glory to Him. My imperfections point to Him for His provision, for His love, for His grace. It is His grace that abounds so freely each day and that makes it okay for us to not have our acts all together so long as we are seeking to live in His will and bring Him praise each day.

But the truth of it is, that we fail at that as well. I know I certainly do. Tonight a sweet friend of mine asked me to be in prayer for something for him and I willingly agreed. It's my honor to be on my knees for someone who means so much to me. He smiled at me and said "Thanks. I asked you because I knew you really would." and I simply had to wonder how often I commit to praying for something and only seek the Lord on it halfheartedly. There could be few things worse than telling someone you'll pray for them and then not doing it, right? Conviction. I fail at praying, I miss opportunities with the Lord, and I don't have as deep a knowledge of Scripture as I wish I had. But you know what?

There is grace. 

I'm blown away tonight by the thought that God, our big and infinite God, chooses to take people as insignificant, imperfect, and ugly as each of us are and use us to be a small part of something so great. As I lifted my hands to the song posted below tonight in worship, tears streamed down my face. We used to use this song on flashback videos at camp and I wept as I thought about the faces of all those children, about the Gospel, about the time I knew I was called to ministry, and about the fact that Christ has willingly decided to use the imperfect me, so full of mistakes. Me, who drops the ball daily... I'm humbled at all He has done in my life and at who I know He will continue to be. I continue to lay down my plans and to lay down any striving for perfection. Praise God for His grace. I can't wait to see more.

ben

Last night my sweet friend Laura Sue and I went to Atlanta for the first night of Ben Rector's new tour. Between riding through the rain, fighting traffic for pumpkin spice lattes, and standing right up against the stage (but safely out of the spit range) it was all together a much needed night of fun. Here are a few pictures... bear in mind that I've never been skilled at taking photos in low lighting. Maybe I should work on that.

Graham Colton opened last night. Not only am I a big fan of his name, I really enjoyed his music too... and he had a precious personality. Count me a new found fan, Graham. 

small towns

It's a rainy day in Athens... but not one of those great, curl up on the couch with a good book kind of days. It's muggy... the kind of day that makes you think you'll never have a good hair day again. I admit that this was one of those days that I wanted to get back in bed and start all over again. But the Lord speaks and works through those days just as much as the ones filled with sunshine I suppose.

I've been letting myself live in a dream lately. You know, those times when you have a mentality of wearing scarves, playing on Pinterest, drinking apple cider and listening to someone play the violin on the back porch with pretty Christmas lights? I think it's the change of seasons. I'm so grateful for Fall to finally be here. It's beautiful to me that the Lord changes the seasons... keeps things fresh and new each morning. That's so like Him..

I spent this past weekend in Byram and it felt so good to be back there again. A few years ago, when I first went to my sweet friend's house in south Georgia, (Bainbridge... one of my very favorite places) I realized that despite being from Marietta, I am a lover of the feel of small towns. Being in Byram this weekend made me feel that way again. I feel like the sun is always shining. I love a place where everyone knows everyone. I love a sense of community and a town where the pastor is also in the press box at the high school football game. I love a place where you can't go anywhere without seeing someone you know. I love a place where people always hug you the first time they meet you and where people love to sit together and talk about what the Lord is teaching them. I'm pretty excited about the thought of getting to even be just a little part of that soon.

Daniel and I spent the weekend worshiping together, drinking pumpkin spice lattes, eating spaghetti, watching football, walking, laughing, reading, and just being in the same place. I couldn't ask for anything more. There's just something sweet about that time... and something about that time that makes me crave spending time before the Lord. My drive back on Sunday was hours on end of pure, intimate worship. There are no words for the beauty of the Lord's love. He's been daily speaking to my heart over and over again through Psalm 33. The first half of it is posted below. Check it out. There's just something breath taking to me about the imagery of God breathing out stars and scooping the depths of the ocean into jars. Praise the Lord that He's big enough to do that and small enough to hear the cries of my tiny heart.

I've been praying a lot for the Lord's wisdom lately. James 1:5, right? He's been speaking to my heart about what a beautiful time this is for me to sit at His feet as He prepares me for things to come. I'm trying my best to soak it all up.

I think I really want to read this book that I found today. Maybe one day I'll get around to ordering it...

I've been burning through the new NeedtoBreathe cd and the new Ben Rector cd this week. I'm going to see Ben Rector in concert tomorrow and I admit I've maybe never been this excited about a concert before. Have I mentioned I kind of love him? I do. It's a little out of control. Don't worry, I feel sure there will be plenty of photos to follow.

That's all the random for now... nothing but a quick update. :)

unfathomable

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
   it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
² Praise the LORD with the harp;
   make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
³ Sing to him a new song;
   play skillfully, and shout for joy.

 ⁴ For the word of the LORD is right and true;
   he is faithful in all he does.
⁵ The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
   the earth is full of his unfailing love.

 ⁶ By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
   their starry host by the breath of his mouth. ⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
   he puts the deep into storehouses.
⁸ Let all the earth fear the LORD;
   let all the people of the world revere him.
⁹ For he spoke, and it came to be;
   he commanded, and it stood firm.

 ¹⁰ The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
   he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
¹¹ But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
   the purposes of his heart through all generations. 

                                                         -psalm 33:1-11