bean

There are some days of your life that you would willingly choose to live over and over again: days spent road tripping and laughing with a sweet, snow days with the roommates, trips to the beach with my best friend, holidays with the family... And then sometimes there are days that you aren't so sad to see go. I had the feeling today would fall in the latter category as we drove down to south Georgia to visit my grandfather in the nursing home. But if there's anything this trip is remind me of, it's that those days we chose to forget are in all reality mistakes. Never miss a moment with the people you love, no matter how hard or how boring it may be.

I'm sitting here tonight in the front bedroom of my grandparents house-- a place I haven't been in a very long time. Being in this part of the house again gives me the same feeling I had this afternoon as I sat with my grandfather, only a shell now of the man he used to be. I'm reminded tonight of the countless nights that Robert and I slept in the twin beds one room over from where I am now and stayed up until the late hours of the night laughing until dad would tell us to be quiet. Being the little sister im sure I enjoyed those nights more than he did, but I'm grateful for the memories of giggling at my grandma in her night cap, laughing at my grandpa as he snored, and making countless bad jokes about George Washington. I miss my grandpa coming through in the morning and making up ridiculous songs while banging on pots and pans. I miss walking through the garden with him. I miss sitting at my spot beside him at the kitchen table and picking on him as he dumped sugar in his tea. He made the best faces and told the greatest stories. We went fishing, picked flowers, and giggled about my supposed redheaded, snaggle-toothed boyfriend that Im not terribly sorry to say i never found.

I used to marvel at how young my daddy looked when he was back in his parents house. I loved that and to be honest, I still love being here. Famy is just such a beautiful thing that the Lord has placed together.

Today I sat and watched the all star football player, lifeguard, and man that used to make me giggle uncontrollably struggle to speak as someone came in go lift him into a bed and change his diaper. Growing up isn't always easy, I suppose. But tomorrow I've got all day to sit right there and be grateful for the memories and cherish what unknown time we have left. It might not be fun and it isn't my ideal way to spend the last days of summer, but it's where I am. Never waste a moment. Life is a precious thing and I spend far too much of it looking forward to the next one of those moments you would choose to not forget. In all reality, the Lord has placed each breath in our lungs for that particular moment of the day, for such a time as this. I'm praying I continue to learn to cherish that.

So as I sit tonight in a house fill of pictures and memories, I can't help but be thankful for them. And even more so than that, I am grateful for all the ones yet to come. I thought today about how much life I still have head of me, how many smiles and how many memories. I sure can't wait to see how those play out but for today I can. I'm grateful that the lord Doesnt let me see past today. I figure He does it that way on purpose, right?

Forgive my typos. Phones aren't ideal for blogging...