spontaneity

Confession: Life has been a little crazy for me the past few days. I haven't quite been myself. If you know me you know that I am rarely stressed out and not easily agitated... except for this week. I accredit it to a mix of a few things, namely the intense amount of steroids I was put on for a bronchial infection. Guh-reat. That being said, my thoughts for the day are this:

This morning as I was driving to class, I found myself stuck behind a little green car with the strange urge to just follow it and see where I ended up. Is that weird? Absolutely. It also isn't normally advisable. (and I think part of me just hoped that car would drive to Chick Fil A for a biscuit... but back to the story now.) I had the strange desire this morning to just throw my schedule to the wind and go in pursuit of some sort of great adventure. To be honest, I drove a little further than I normally do, running the risk of being late to class, before I finally took a turn back on the path toward my parking spot, my classes, and my long list of meetings for the day. I walked through the morning's dreary February weather thinking this thought: I almost threw my schedule to the wind and followed a dream on a whim. So much of me really wishes that I had.

This thought became more relevant this afternoon as I sat and discussed ministry tactics with a friend. We discussed the fact that so often we fully plan our schedules and count it such a victory to have everything calendared early (when did calendar become a verb in my life?), have all the details down, and have everything planned and ready to go. And trust me, more than almost anyone I know I am a huge fan of having everything preplanned and fully organized. I obsessively check my schedule multiple times a day, can tell you the plans for the rest of the week, and so many days live from meeting to meeting, always planning two steps ahead. We as a culture take pride in being able to do just that-- be on top of the ball, be prepared and ready to go. It's the way I'm wired.

But I remember a conversation I had with a sweet friend one day standing in the hot August sun outside the bcm. He and I were sharing stories of our summers at camp and what the future would hold when our conversation shifted into this thought:

When our calendars are slammed and every second is planned out, where is the room for the Holy Spirit?

A valid question. I crash at night time because I run myself 100 miles an hour most days, doing great things for great purposes, but am I able to sit and listen to the still, small voice of God? You could tie it back to the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 and how Jesus appreciated Mary taking the time to sit and be still in front of the Savior. I do my best to do that daily, but am I doing my best to be sensitive to the Lord at all hours of the day?

First Kings tells the story of the prophet Elijah. Elijah was commanded to go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord with the knowledge that God himself was about to pass by. The story goes on and says this: "Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave." This story is one of my favorites and it speaks to me in a refreshing way so often. God is obviously in the big things that we do each day, but he is also most apt to speak to my heart when I steady myself with a willingness to hear His gentle whispers. For me that requires a little refocusing. If our every second of every day are planned out to a T, when will we remember to listen to the gentle, quiet promptings that the Lord lays on our hearts? Sure, it can be done. And sure, I'm a huge fan of planning. But my heart is desiring more time to just be sensitive to where He leads me and where He calls me. Let's not lose track of that.

Per usual, all of that was just a thought from the deep ramblings of my brain today. I encourage you guys to join me on not running 100 miles an hour... on stopping to see the people that need to be spoken to, on stopping to hear the little whispers of the Lord. Life gets way too bogged down way too easily. Just a thought.

Also, congrats to The Civil Wars on hitting number one on itunes today with the release of their new album, Barton Hollow. So good. Can't wait to see them live again next Monday night! Enjoy :)