I skipped out on last week's Five for Friday post because I was headed six hours south to Brewton, Alabama for a DiscipleNow weekend. It was overall a more than incredible weekend of biblical teaching, intentional conversations, and beautifully amazing people. It was so nice to put all of life's demands on hold for the weekend to hang out and love on these kids, and I've seriously not had such an incredible DNow group in a long, long time. I love the people of this town and how the girls are beginning to thirst for the Lord. The sense of community there is overwhelming and it was beautiful to let the Lord teach me through both the weekend and the long drive both ways. Mmm, so so good.
Got to serve alongside my precious girls...
love on them and hear their precious stories and heartbeats...
met and realized I'm in love with this girl...
and even got to spend a little bit of time with this guy. Always a blessing.
Overall, it was a beautiful weekend and the Lord has been teaching me a lot as a result of it. About halfway home my phone began to blow up again with emails and meeting reminders and assignments so I took a deep breath and jumped head first back into a busy week. Monday afternoon staff meeting for church rolled around and as I left it early to get back to Athens for my night class, I grabbed a sheet of paper and began to write an all-encompassing to-do list as I drove. It was at that point that the Lord and I shared this conversation as He began to slowly reveal things to my heart.
I'm so ready to give of myself fully to something.
It's funny, because my sweet friend Daniel told me the very same thing that night on the phone and my beautiful accountability partner, Laura, echoed it again to me today at lunch. The thought process is this: I know what it is I'm called to and I am so ready to be doing exactly what I know God has made me for. I'm so passionate about things and I'm not sufficed by doing them halfheartedly. If it's love on kids in Alabama, I want to do that fully and not have to worry about a million other things. If it's love on kids in Winder, I want to do that and not have to run back for class. I want to give of myself wholly to what I am called to do, made to do, and not be spreading myself so thin between seven different things.
But at the same time, I know that I am where I'm called to be in this time in my life. Daniel and I talked also this week about the concept of blooming where you're planted... I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has big plans for me here and now in Athens and I get the chance to live that out. God lays on my heart often the reminder to be still, know He is God, and seek out His little whispers in life. I was reminded of this between classes and meetings yesterday when I ran into a girl who used to live across the hall from me in my dorm. I haven't seen her in years and almost didn't stop to say hey (I'm far too busy for that, right?) but am so glad I did. I excitedly yelled her name and asked how she was at which point the tears began to flood down her face. People all around us are going through things and hurting and we are called to be Christ to those people, regardless of weather or not I've got three tests and twelve meetings to make it to. But how do we begin to slow ourselves down when we're overcommitted? I'm tired of not being able to give fully and be as aware as I should be... I pray daily that the Lord will give me His eyes to see the people around me.
Laura put it to me this way today. We are so much more like Jonah than we think we are. I may not be blatantly running away from my call to take the gospel to Nineveh and I'm sure hoping not to get swallowed by a whale, but me filling my life up with so many different things is a way in which I am running from what God wants me to do. Don't get me wrong, everything I have going on is good stuff but if I'm giving of myself to 12 things, am I able to give of myself fully to the Lord and be sensitive to Him? I'm left without the time at the end of the day to soak up His word to the extent that I would like, but I also think it's a beautiful thing that my thirst for Him is so unquenchable. I think He meant us to always be wanting more...
This is just a thought but I feel it's relevant to a lot of us right now. I'm going 100 miles an hour and looking forward to moving on to something else-- to a day when I am able to do what I am made to do 24/7. But the reality is that I'm made to mirror Christ, to bring Him with me wherever I go, and I can do that right here and now. Bloom where you're planted. Trust me, I'm anxious to go back to Brewton, Alabama and I can't wait to move to Jackson, Mississippi. I'd go now if I could. But I can't. And there's something beautiful about that.
Thoughts?
yes. so many thoughts. but i must discuss that in person/pver the phone.
ReplyDeletegood post. good to see your heart.
and btw....did you know that the DNOW was wrapped up on Sunday as we discussed the journey of Jonah getting to Ninevah? just thought you might want to know. :)