So I might have had a little too much going on lately to keep up with my reverb 10 prompts... I have lots of friends in town for New Years and Passion and people are slowly beginning to arrive by the masses. I was honestly going to quit blogging but I had a friend read me today's prompt in the car at 1:30 last night (or this morning, depending on how you spin it) and I decided that today was absolutely too good to miss.
the question: What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?
my answer:
This is the question that sums it all up and pulls it all together. Some might call is a testimony... if you work for CentriKid you might call it a journey, but regardless here it is. Here is just a small piece of the most important story that makes me who I am at my core:
I grew up in the church. A lot of people do. But going to church makes me no more a Christian than spending time in my garage makes me a car. I began to piece together the beauty of what the Lord has done for us at a young age and would often think about the fact that each of us are born into sin (Romans 3:23-- for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.) and that because of that sin, each of us were going to die and spend eternity separated from God (Romans 6:23-- For the wages of sin is death...). And that, friends, is a scary place to live. It's frightening to me to think that I lived for a while grasping that half of the truth before moving onto the beauty of what comes next in the story. A lot of us live here, knowing that we are insufficient in every way, never good enough to get to the Lord or even to get to Heaven. None of us, not one. This thought scared me as a child, but I've come to realize that the gospel of Christ isn't about scaring people by telling them they're going to go to hell. It is a story of redemption and ultimately of love and should be treated as such.
When I was in the eighth grade, I can remember the specific weekend and location that the Lord flipped the lightbulb in my brain and I began to fully comprehend the other half of that same verse. Romans 6:23 doesn't stop there. It goes on to tell us "but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." How cool is that? And Romans 5:8 tells us that "God demonstrates his own love fur us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I love the verse at the beginning of Romans 5 that talks about how that happened at "Just the right time" (5:6). Because, see, people used to make these sacrifices of their most precious animals so that the blood could cleanse their sins and the Lord would forgive them. But then God sent His actual son to be that sacrifice, to die on a cross, and to shed enough blood for the rest of us for all time. Why on earth would he willingly go through that?
Because He loves us, oh how He loves us. But the story doesn't stop there. Because hey, anybody could die... in fact, lots of people died on crosses throughout history. What makes the death of this Jesus so special? The thing that sets this apart is that for three days He was dead and then rose again to ascend to Heaven. He conquered death, conquered the grave, so that we too might be able to do that same thing. That still blows my mind daily... And Romans 10:9 goes on to tell us that if we simply "confess with your mouth 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in you heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."
So that might be the quick version of my core story, but it's the quick version of your core story too, whether or not you are aware of it. Because here's the thing, Christ didn't endure all that suffering simply so that Laura could spend not just eternity in Heaven but also life on earth with Christ, He did it for every single one of us. Every single one. Whether or not we choose to accept that and latch onto it is up to us. He is patiently waiting for each of us to realize His glory and enter into a life with Him. But in the word's of Reading Rainbow, don't take my word for it.... Ephesians 2 puts it this way:
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
So that is my story. That is what boils down at the core that makes me who I am, and more importantly who I strive to be. Seeing as this is the last day of my reverb 10 challenge, I'm leaving each of you with a challenge. Think as we enter into the new year about what it is that makes you who you are? Are you living up to that? How does the story of Christ apply to your life? Do you choose to let it in daily?
Just a thought, friends. It's been an adventure. I wish you all the best as you head into 2011! Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
continuation
Hello blogging world, I have not forgotten about you. I know you're all heart broken that I've been MIA the past two days... not. But I'm writing in just to let you know that I have yet to give up on reverb 10! Yesterday I was just plain lazy but tonight the first of my new year's company arrived in town and it has already been wonderful having Daniel in town and hanging out with our dearest friend KatiePH. I'm forgoing answering tonight's prompt though (despite it being 2 am) to make my priorities straight. I'm exhausted and if it comes down to writing a lengthy blog or spending a lengthy amount of time with the Lord, I would hope to always pick the latter. Tonight's prompt was about picking a defining moment from the year and if I hope to be defined by anything, it's the moments like this one where the Lord speaks to me in my weaknesses and exhaustions, comforts my soul, and reveals to me another slice of His beautiful character. I'm putting blogging behind me tonight to opt for my journal and my bible-- trust me, it's way more rewarding.
That being said, I am so beyond excited for CK1 to get here for New Years and Passion! Going to try and keep on blogging through the end of the year but I make no promises...
That being said, I am so beyond excited for CK1 to get here for New Years and Passion! Going to try and keep on blogging through the end of the year but I make no promises...
Monday, December 27, 2010
ordinary joy
okay, okay... blogging keeps getting put on the back burner for me tonight. Before I head into tonight's reverb 10 challenge (this one is more of a challenge for me than a prompt) I felt it was worth mentioning that thanks to all of you, I have finally reached over 1,000 page views! I'm well aware that a lot of people get a thousand views per post but for me this is quite the accomplishment, so thanks for helping me get there!
the question: Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
my answer:
I have sat here in front of this blog post for quite some time now and have decided this: I can't answer this post. In fact, I just told my roommate, Season, about how I simply cannot answer this. She's got me probing my mind right now and per usual, I think I'll share with you a couple of the candidates for the win:
eating sandwiches by a waterfall, conquering omc with less than 20 kids, greeting a friend I'd been missing, roller skating in the living room, mattress surfing down the stairs, laughing until I can't breathe (a frequent occurrence), building forts in the living room, making cupcakes, playing with my brother, taking a great picture, hearing good news, sitting by a fire with a friend, sitting on the curb eating ice cream and watching the cars go by, walking through a pretty downtown, snowball fights at a gas station, fingerpainting a sheet, seeing children come to know the Lord, photoshoots with the roommates, looking through magazines, browsing the bookstore or pulling off a great event... none of these could be fails because each of them are special memories from this year, shared with incredible people that I love. But I think I've picked one to write about specifically. It's one of my favorite ordinary moments that I will cherish forever. Confession: it's actually from the end of last year but hey, who's counting anyway?
I have a giant world map hanging over my bed in my apartment. Late one cold afternoon, my neighbor Meghan came over to chat with me and take a break from packing up her room. She was graduating, moving out, and getting married. Meghan has meant the world to me for a long time-- she's got a couple years on me and took me in when I was just a freshman. Living next door to her was always a blessing. Mamma Meghan would make us breakfast, watch Lifetime movies with us, laugh about our love lives, and do just about anything we all wanted. Meghan has the sweetest heart of a servant and I loved those last few weeks of her being in Athens and still cherish her occasional visits. On this December afternoon, Meg and I found ourselves laying on my bed staring up at that map and dreaming of all the places we would love to visit. We found countries we never knew existed, picked places to live in our dream lives, and laid there in silence just soaking in the moment. I don't know why this moment stands out to me as being so precious and beautiful, but I cherish the memory of that hour very deeply. Joy really can be found in the most ordinary of moments... often times it isn't about what we're doing so much as it's about who we're with. I love this story because it's a fleeting moment in time spent with a precious friend that exudes such joy-- not loud and excited joy but peaceful, simplistic joy that holds so much beauty. I could've picked something crazier, I could've picked something more spiritual, I could've picked something more prominent and life changing... but I love how this moment speaks to the ordinary days with people you love. Mmm.
I leave you tonight with these totally unrelated photos and this question: What does it say about me that my best subjects the past few weeks have only been dogs? I'm so ready for people to start showing up here for New Years. Two more days...
the question: Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
my answer:
I have sat here in front of this blog post for quite some time now and have decided this: I can't answer this post. In fact, I just told my roommate, Season, about how I simply cannot answer this. She's got me probing my mind right now and per usual, I think I'll share with you a couple of the candidates for the win:
eating sandwiches by a waterfall, conquering omc with less than 20 kids, greeting a friend I'd been missing, roller skating in the living room, mattress surfing down the stairs, laughing until I can't breathe (a frequent occurrence), building forts in the living room, making cupcakes, playing with my brother, taking a great picture, hearing good news, sitting by a fire with a friend, sitting on the curb eating ice cream and watching the cars go by, walking through a pretty downtown, snowball fights at a gas station, fingerpainting a sheet, seeing children come to know the Lord, photoshoots with the roommates, looking through magazines, browsing the bookstore or pulling off a great event... none of these could be fails because each of them are special memories from this year, shared with incredible people that I love. But I think I've picked one to write about specifically. It's one of my favorite ordinary moments that I will cherish forever. Confession: it's actually from the end of last year but hey, who's counting anyway?
I have a giant world map hanging over my bed in my apartment. Late one cold afternoon, my neighbor Meghan came over to chat with me and take a break from packing up her room. She was graduating, moving out, and getting married. Meghan has meant the world to me for a long time-- she's got a couple years on me and took me in when I was just a freshman. Living next door to her was always a blessing. Mamma Meghan would make us breakfast, watch Lifetime movies with us, laugh about our love lives, and do just about anything we all wanted. Meghan has the sweetest heart of a servant and I loved those last few weeks of her being in Athens and still cherish her occasional visits. On this December afternoon, Meg and I found ourselves laying on my bed staring up at that map and dreaming of all the places we would love to visit. We found countries we never knew existed, picked places to live in our dream lives, and laid there in silence just soaking in the moment. I don't know why this moment stands out to me as being so precious and beautiful, but I cherish the memory of that hour very deeply. Joy really can be found in the most ordinary of moments... often times it isn't about what we're doing so much as it's about who we're with. I love this story because it's a fleeting moment in time spent with a precious friend that exudes such joy-- not loud and excited joy but peaceful, simplistic joy that holds so much beauty. I could've picked something crazier, I could've picked something more spiritual, I could've picked something more prominent and life changing... but I love how this moment speaks to the ordinary days with people you love. Mmm.
I leave you tonight with these totally unrelated photos and this question: What does it say about me that my best subjects the past few weeks have only been dogs? I'm so ready for people to start showing up here for New Years. Two more days...
AJ... I love that old gray chin.
Claire in her natural habitat-- a blanket.
Lilly... Okay, she's not my dog but I miss her already. I love her Christmas bow in the snow.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
soul food
Today's reverb 10 prompt made me laugh a little bit as I tried to paddle back through the ocean of various meals I've eaten over the course of an entire year. I admit that when I read the title my first thought was ...Peaches? Who would have ever imagined they had a website?
the question: What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
my answer:
I admit that I love to eat (sometimes a little too much...) but as I thought back over the last year I couldn't pick any one food that melted my mouth enough to write home about. My mom made baked ziti tonight, does that count? It's one of the only foods that seems to excite all the family members these days... I'm also convinced that hot, slightly gooey Trader Joe's banana bread is Heaven in a pan. But seriously, I thought back through different places I've been, restaurants I've eaten at, etc. and came to realize this: most of the time eating really isn't about the food. In the long run, it isn't usually what we ordered off the menu that we remember. It's the experience, the people we ate it with, and the smiles that were brought by meeting together over a good meal. As a true Southern Baptist, I can attest to the wonders of how good food is a key ingredient in fellowship. I like to cook and I like to eat, but I'm no Paula Deen, y'all...
The meals I cherished most this past semester came from a weekly event we lovingly referred to as Dinner Club. Almost every Wednesday night (and sometimes on other sporadic nights of the week) my roommates, my neighbors, and my friend across the street would get together and swap off who cooked so that we could all eat dinner together. In college, this is truly a rare treat. It's nice to come home and have dinner ready for you, it's nice to serve someone else by showing off your culinary skills, and it's nice to have something that feels an awful lot like a family. Growing up, my family at dinner together at the kitchen table every night. It's a part of my life that I cherish and it's something that I fully intend on my family doing one day. There's something that just isn't the same about popping some food in the microwave or having a sandwich by yourself after a long day of classes. I love the chance to sit, put the world aside for an hour, and laugh together while catching up on life.
I think I have two favorite Dinner Club moments from the year, the first one being the night my mom came to town and we talked her into joining us. The two of us cooked sweet and spicy chicken, one of my favorites, in my tiny apartment kitchen together and she joined my friends and I for a family dinner that night. It was such a blessing to have her there. Have I mentioned how incredible my mom is?
The other favorite night would have to land on the time Will and I made spaghetti while my neighbor Jackie worked her Southern Living charm on my back porch. The whole gang sat outside in the warm air with the candles lit in the beauty of our near-ghetto apartment complex. It was beautiful and I loved it. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile and anything that feels like family, good food, and togetherness will surely do the trick.
We need each other in life. I think that's why it's such a blessing to me to just chill out, slow down, and grab a meal together. At the end of the year, I don't remember the delicious things I ate (maybe I'll remember that next time I'm tempted to eat another cupcake...) but I sure do remember the way the Lord uses time spent with other people in my life. That's what touched my soul this year-- the warmth and the love that came with the spaghetti, although I have to admit, we Dinner Clubbers are pretty mean cooks indeed.
But I surely couldn't write a blog post about food without giving a proper shoutout to the Cherpumple. Yes, a Cherpumple... what you see here is a spice cake, a vanilla cake, and a yellow cake each with an entire pie baked inside of them (pumpkin, cherry, and apple respectively) all stacked and iced together with creme cheese icing. This thing legitimately weighed at least ten pounds and was still hot inside when we cut it open several hours later. Disgusting? Completely. Epic? Even more so.
the question: What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
my answer:
I admit that I love to eat (sometimes a little too much...) but as I thought back over the last year I couldn't pick any one food that melted my mouth enough to write home about. My mom made baked ziti tonight, does that count? It's one of the only foods that seems to excite all the family members these days... I'm also convinced that hot, slightly gooey Trader Joe's banana bread is Heaven in a pan. But seriously, I thought back through different places I've been, restaurants I've eaten at, etc. and came to realize this: most of the time eating really isn't about the food. In the long run, it isn't usually what we ordered off the menu that we remember. It's the experience, the people we ate it with, and the smiles that were brought by meeting together over a good meal. As a true Southern Baptist, I can attest to the wonders of how good food is a key ingredient in fellowship. I like to cook and I like to eat, but I'm no Paula Deen, y'all...
The meals I cherished most this past semester came from a weekly event we lovingly referred to as Dinner Club. Almost every Wednesday night (and sometimes on other sporadic nights of the week) my roommates, my neighbors, and my friend across the street would get together and swap off who cooked so that we could all eat dinner together. In college, this is truly a rare treat. It's nice to come home and have dinner ready for you, it's nice to serve someone else by showing off your culinary skills, and it's nice to have something that feels an awful lot like a family. Growing up, my family at dinner together at the kitchen table every night. It's a part of my life that I cherish and it's something that I fully intend on my family doing one day. There's something that just isn't the same about popping some food in the microwave or having a sandwich by yourself after a long day of classes. I love the chance to sit, put the world aside for an hour, and laugh together while catching up on life.
I think I have two favorite Dinner Club moments from the year, the first one being the night my mom came to town and we talked her into joining us. The two of us cooked sweet and spicy chicken, one of my favorites, in my tiny apartment kitchen together and she joined my friends and I for a family dinner that night. It was such a blessing to have her there. Have I mentioned how incredible my mom is?
The other favorite night would have to land on the time Will and I made spaghetti while my neighbor Jackie worked her Southern Living charm on my back porch. The whole gang sat outside in the warm air with the candles lit in the beauty of our near-ghetto apartment complex. It was beautiful and I loved it. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile and anything that feels like family, good food, and togetherness will surely do the trick.
We need each other in life. I think that's why it's such a blessing to me to just chill out, slow down, and grab a meal together. At the end of the year, I don't remember the delicious things I ate (maybe I'll remember that next time I'm tempted to eat another cupcake...) but I sure do remember the way the Lord uses time spent with other people in my life. That's what touched my soul this year-- the warmth and the love that came with the spaghetti, although I have to admit, we Dinner Clubbers are pretty mean cooks indeed.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
worth a thousand words
I love today's reverb 10 prompt. How ironic it is considering a large part of today has been about taking pictures (what with the Christmas and the several inches of snow!) and what a refresh it was to get so excited about a prompt again. I also love that it just so happens to be written by one of the Shutter Sisters, I blog I often stalk, who also is an author of their new book, Expressive Photography, which I bought myself for Christmas just a few weeks ago.
the question: Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
my answer:
I did exactly what the prompt asked for and sifted through every picture I've been tagged in this past year on facebook. (That was the easiest possible way to do it, after all.) I had a great time looking through them and laughing at the memories each picture held. When it came down to it, I struggled for a long time to pick just one... other runners up included me holding both the skillets after winning some OMC one Thursday at camp, a wonderful picture of some of my favorite camp staffers in ponchos and sombreros (me with a fake mustache drawn on), pictures with a colorful bunch of balloons, and me at the North Campus fountain with a precious friend after I did her engagement shoot. However, the winner tonight is a bit out of the ordinary. Drumroll please...
This picture of me is not the best... I don't look good, it isn't professional, it makes me look twelve, and it might not speak to my normal everyday existence but nonetheless I love everything about it. It was taken sitting outside the grass at a Needtobreathe concert earlier this year. I love it because not only am I closely surrounded by four wonderful friends, Katie Price Hill loved me enough to stick her finger up my nose the instant the camera snapped, causing me to move and be the only one in the middle of the picture. It was one in a long series of pictures I took of all of us that night, sitting and laughing outside a concert that none of us should have gotten into. There is nothing as sweet as great music, good friends, and the joy that comes from simply being together. It speaks to my heart because even when I try to be serious, my life is nothing more than hilarious and I am grateful to always have good friends to remind me of that. Life is silly, embarrassment is not worth the time, and I take pride in finding the ability to laugh in most all situations. Good friends are critical and I have the very best ones you could ask for (roommates too.) and I wouldn't give that up for the world. This picture and the story behind it sum up my themes for the year-- love, laughter, and adventure and even though I look ridiculous, I count that as a win.
That is all for now, friends. I hope you had an incredibly Merry Christmas!
the question: Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
my answer:
I did exactly what the prompt asked for and sifted through every picture I've been tagged in this past year on facebook. (That was the easiest possible way to do it, after all.) I had a great time looking through them and laughing at the memories each picture held. When it came down to it, I struggled for a long time to pick just one... other runners up included me holding both the skillets after winning some OMC one Thursday at camp, a wonderful picture of some of my favorite camp staffers in ponchos and sombreros (me with a fake mustache drawn on), pictures with a colorful bunch of balloons, and me at the North Campus fountain with a precious friend after I did her engagement shoot. However, the winner tonight is a bit out of the ordinary. Drumroll please...
This picture of me is not the best... I don't look good, it isn't professional, it makes me look twelve, and it might not speak to my normal everyday existence but nonetheless I love everything about it. It was taken sitting outside the grass at a Needtobreathe concert earlier this year. I love it because not only am I closely surrounded by four wonderful friends, Katie Price Hill loved me enough to stick her finger up my nose the instant the camera snapped, causing me to move and be the only one in the middle of the picture. It was one in a long series of pictures I took of all of us that night, sitting and laughing outside a concert that none of us should have gotten into. There is nothing as sweet as great music, good friends, and the joy that comes from simply being together. It speaks to my heart because even when I try to be serious, my life is nothing more than hilarious and I am grateful to always have good friends to remind me of that. Life is silly, embarrassment is not worth the time, and I take pride in finding the ability to laugh in most all situations. Good friends are critical and I have the very best ones you could ask for (roommates too.) and I wouldn't give that up for the world. This picture and the story behind it sum up my themes for the year-- love, laughter, and adventure and even though I look ridiculous, I count that as a win.
That is all for now, friends. I hope you had an incredibly Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 24, 2010
everything's okay
Merry Christmas Eve! Back in our dining hall days, my sweet friend AllieDanae and I used to eat together on Fridays and catchup on one another's lives from the week. We would precede all news and information with the phrase "Confession Friday:" and we still do it from time to time. Since today happens to actually be Friday, I'm going to give you a little Friday confession. Confession Friday: I'm enjoying reverb 10 because it motivates me to write each day, but I'm ready to be back to blogging whenever I want about whatever I want. I'm a blog-stalker at heart and I love to write freely as well as sharing pictures, fun products, and fun websites that I find (such as tinyprints, a precious website my cousin's cute wife sends her Christmas cards from each year! Check that out!) Anywho, on to today's prompt...
the question: What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
my answer:
I can think of a few, actually. I'm struggling to pick between the day I knew that camp was, in fact, exactly where I was supposed to be; a day of complete restoration that I have written about already; or a day when I was reminded that the Lord is all sufficient in my life. I think that last one will be the winner today.
There were several moments this past semester where it felt as if the world was just bogging down on me. I think we all have those days. Some days you just feel that you need to get out of town, take a break, and go for a long ride by yourself. One Friday afternoon after a rough week the Lord blessed me with an incredible, unexpected series of events, of which I will give you the short version. I'd been trying and failing to Skype with a friend all week and in the midst of finally getting to talk to him (a blessing in itself), I got an incredible phone call from LifeWay about my summer position at camp. The timing of it was incredible and it was a joyous occasion all around. Minutes afterward, my doorbell rang and it was one of my all-time favorite people, a hilarious boy named Chris, who had come unexpectedly from Valdosta for a surprise weekend. (And what a fun weekend any weekend with Chris is sure to be!) But the real moment of beauty came that night when I was driving up to Toccoa to visit my good friends Jeremy and Jeff Slaughter. My gps took me the back roads (per usual) and I was soaking in the incredible beauty of the landscape, still on a high from the events of the afternoon when the Lord spoke to me. I was thanking him for friends, for beautiful scenery, for unexpected blessings, and for a chance to get alone with Him when He reminded me sweetly that because I seek to be obedient to Him, I truly have everything I need. My life is far from perfect, but it is complete in the Lord. How true... I can think of more things that I would like to have, sure, but sincerely everything I need and way, way more has been provided. And that is the moment that I knew, despite all the mess, that indeed we can "rejoice in the hope of the glory of God". (Romans 5:1) I found a verse just last night in Hebrews six that talks about Christ's hope as "an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" and I love that, because I love how I have seen it hold up when it feels like your ship is sinking. My beautiful friend Season just wrote a great post about the beauty of that same hope-- you should check it out sometime.
Let's remember today, on Christmas eve, that hope is what this night is really about-- Christ's love and the hope that it gives us in return. Everything is more than okay-- it is beautiful because Christ came that we "may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Embrace that tonight and in the morning and take hold of the fact that our lives are capable of being more than okay, they are capable of being abundant.
I'm signing out today with this picture of our Christmas tree. My mom and I decided to branch out (ha, branch... trees...) this year and add a little blue to our all red and gold decor. Confession Friday: I really like it.
the question: What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
my answer:
I can think of a few, actually. I'm struggling to pick between the day I knew that camp was, in fact, exactly where I was supposed to be; a day of complete restoration that I have written about already; or a day when I was reminded that the Lord is all sufficient in my life. I think that last one will be the winner today.
There were several moments this past semester where it felt as if the world was just bogging down on me. I think we all have those days. Some days you just feel that you need to get out of town, take a break, and go for a long ride by yourself. One Friday afternoon after a rough week the Lord blessed me with an incredible, unexpected series of events, of which I will give you the short version. I'd been trying and failing to Skype with a friend all week and in the midst of finally getting to talk to him (a blessing in itself), I got an incredible phone call from LifeWay about my summer position at camp. The timing of it was incredible and it was a joyous occasion all around. Minutes afterward, my doorbell rang and it was one of my all-time favorite people, a hilarious boy named Chris, who had come unexpectedly from Valdosta for a surprise weekend. (And what a fun weekend any weekend with Chris is sure to be!) But the real moment of beauty came that night when I was driving up to Toccoa to visit my good friends Jeremy and Jeff Slaughter. My gps took me the back roads (per usual) and I was soaking in the incredible beauty of the landscape, still on a high from the events of the afternoon when the Lord spoke to me. I was thanking him for friends, for beautiful scenery, for unexpected blessings, and for a chance to get alone with Him when He reminded me sweetly that because I seek to be obedient to Him, I truly have everything I need. My life is far from perfect, but it is complete in the Lord. How true... I can think of more things that I would like to have, sure, but sincerely everything I need and way, way more has been provided. And that is the moment that I knew, despite all the mess, that indeed we can "rejoice in the hope of the glory of God". (Romans 5:1) I found a verse just last night in Hebrews six that talks about Christ's hope as "an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" and I love that, because I love how I have seen it hold up when it feels like your ship is sinking. My beautiful friend Season just wrote a great post about the beauty of that same hope-- you should check it out sometime.
Let's remember today, on Christmas eve, that hope is what this night is really about-- Christ's love and the hope that it gives us in return. Everything is more than okay-- it is beautiful because Christ came that we "may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Embrace that tonight and in the morning and take hold of the fact that our lives are capable of being more than okay, they are capable of being abundant.
I'm signing out today with this picture of our Christmas tree. My mom and I decided to branch out (ha, branch... trees...) this year and add a little blue to our all red and gold decor. Confession Friday: I really like it.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
new name
Today was yet another wonderfully crazy day, this one filled with family Christmas parties. The highlight? The time my cousin squirted bbq sauce all over everyone comes in a close second but I think the real winner is when my grandparents decided to give the grandkids Christmas cash in stacks of one's this year... It made for lots of great jokes and pictures. But all of that is completely irrelevant and unrelated to reverb 10 anyway...
the question: Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
my answer:
What a weird prompt. I'm not entirely sure what this has to do with reflecting on 2010 but I will say this: after all these years of living, I still don't feel like my name really fits me. It's a fine name I suppose but somehow it just feels weird to me. And it's so complicated... How, you ask? It doesn't really bother me too much anymore but as a child it bothered me to no end that everyone says my name wrong. My name is Laura (pronounced like La-ra), not Lora. There isn't an O anywhere in my name. People will argue with me all day that the 'lau' makes the O sound to which my best witty comeback is this: please spell for me the word laundry. Nobody puts an O sound in that word, do they? Argument fail. Okay, I said I was over this but it miiiight still bother me from time to time... I stopped correcting people many years ago but I love meeting other Laura's and asking them which way they spell it. I love the joy shared among my name twins when someone recognizes that yes, there is a difference, and it is nice to have your name said correctly.
That being said, if I could introduce myself by any other name I still have no idea what it would be. I'm open to suggestions if anybody would like to give me one. Maybe Emma? I really do like the name Emma... Sometimes I introduce myself by my twin roommate's name just to further confuse people on how much we supposedly look alike. We've had an awful lot of fun with that in the past...
I'm cutting this blog post short tonight but I'll leave you with this: this whole talk of names reminds me of camp over the summer when we would teach little children the passage of scripture about a guy named Mephiboseth. Every week our kids would rename him to something more easily pronounced ranging from Mebob to Mephy to M&M or even Mishka. What a blessing it was to teach kids about this crippled guy with a crazy name and how he gets adopted by King David and given a new life. I loved tying that directly into the picture of how when we become believers we too are being adopted by God into his family. We'd also study stories like that of Saul who's name literally changed (to Paul) after he encountered the Lord. We would then talk about how encountering God results in life change. It's cool to me that tonight's prompt asks about fully starting over and being someone different for a day and that is exactly the opportunity we are given when we become believers in Christ. He wipes us clean, forgets our old self, and begins to shape us into the people he wants us to be. Second Corinthians 5:17 reminds us that "If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new is come." What a blessing that is! Please go check out 2 Samuel 19 to learn more about the incredible and so often overlooked story of good old Mebob and remember the opportunity to be given a new name (and a new life) is available to each and every one of us.
(ten points for debriefing that prompt CentriKid style...)
the question: Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
my answer:
What a weird prompt. I'm not entirely sure what this has to do with reflecting on 2010 but I will say this: after all these years of living, I still don't feel like my name really fits me. It's a fine name I suppose but somehow it just feels weird to me. And it's so complicated... How, you ask? It doesn't really bother me too much anymore but as a child it bothered me to no end that everyone says my name wrong. My name is Laura (pronounced like La-ra), not Lora. There isn't an O anywhere in my name. People will argue with me all day that the 'lau' makes the O sound to which my best witty comeback is this: please spell for me the word laundry. Nobody puts an O sound in that word, do they? Argument fail. Okay, I said I was over this but it miiiight still bother me from time to time... I stopped correcting people many years ago but I love meeting other Laura's and asking them which way they spell it. I love the joy shared among my name twins when someone recognizes that yes, there is a difference, and it is nice to have your name said correctly.
That being said, if I could introduce myself by any other name I still have no idea what it would be. I'm open to suggestions if anybody would like to give me one. Maybe Emma? I really do like the name Emma... Sometimes I introduce myself by my twin roommate's name just to further confuse people on how much we supposedly look alike. We've had an awful lot of fun with that in the past...
I'm cutting this blog post short tonight but I'll leave you with this: this whole talk of names reminds me of camp over the summer when we would teach little children the passage of scripture about a guy named Mephiboseth. Every week our kids would rename him to something more easily pronounced ranging from Mebob to Mephy to M&M or even Mishka. What a blessing it was to teach kids about this crippled guy with a crazy name and how he gets adopted by King David and given a new life. I loved tying that directly into the picture of how when we become believers we too are being adopted by God into his family. We'd also study stories like that of Saul who's name literally changed (to Paul) after he encountered the Lord. We would then talk about how encountering God results in life change. It's cool to me that tonight's prompt asks about fully starting over and being someone different for a day and that is exactly the opportunity we are given when we become believers in Christ. He wipes us clean, forgets our old self, and begins to shape us into the people he wants us to be. Second Corinthians 5:17 reminds us that "If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new is come." What a blessing that is! Please go check out 2 Samuel 19 to learn more about the incredible and so often overlooked story of good old Mebob and remember the opportunity to be given a new name (and a new life) is available to each and every one of us.
(ten points for debriefing that prompt CentriKid style...)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
travel
Okay, I admit it. I failed to answer yesterday's reverb 10 prompt... but some things in life are more important than blogging, such as spending time with people you love. Last night some sweet friends from high school and I stayed up until 5 am laughing and catching up on life and it was an unimaginable blessing! Funny how so much and so little has changed all at the same time...
the question: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
a piece of the answer:
I absolutely love to travel. In fact, my family often makes fun of me for beings somewhere different every weekend and for running around until I completely wear myself out. I love to go, love to visit different people, and find so much joy in long car rides by myself. Driving is one of my favorite things and it's such a precious time to connect with the Lord. So often my gps takes me the back routes down the scenic paths and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've traveled more this semester than ever before but it seems only fitting considering I traveled to seven (or six, depending on how you spin it) different locations this summer with camp. Traveling has become a part of my being at this point. You really learn a lot about life when you live out of a trunk and a 12 passenger van for a few months... Just for my own piece of mind, I'm going to map out all the places I can remember going in the past year, in order to the best of my ability. I'll leave out the multiple trips to Marietta (let it be assumed) and keep in mind that almost all these places resulted in a return trip to Athens. Needless to say, my odometer is rapidly racking up...
Macon, Ga-- youth conference
Bainbridge, Ga-- my all time favorite DNow location
Nashville, Tn-- John Mayer concert with my brother
Chatanooga, Tn-- visits to my wonderful neighbor
Florida-- a much needed beach trip
Nashville, Tn-- family trip!
Campbellsville, Ky-- training week for camp
Cleveland, Tn-- Lee University for the first few cycles of camp. loved it.
Ridgecrest, Nc-- beautiful.
Buies Creek, Nc-- camp at Cambell University... I won't cry if I never go back to that town
Shocco Springs, Al-- more camp... over 1000 kids that week.
Norman Park, Ga-- favorite camp location. love.
Ridgecrest again!
Nashville again!-- departing from camp equals saddest day ever.
Toccoa, Ga-- preschool leadership retreat
Chatanooga, Tn/Trion, Ga-- wedding!
Birmingham, Al-- Needtobreathe concert with incredible friends.
Savannah, Ga-- BB King concert with more incredible friends on a random wednesday night.
Rome, Ga-- unexpected trip
Savannah again!-- awesome camp reunion complete with haunted ghost tour
St. Simons Island, Ga-- school conference
Nashville, Tn-- (I frequent that place despite it being 6 hours from my house.) day with LifeWay
Chatanooga again!-- more weddings!
Good grief! And I left so many short trips and repeats out... my goodness! Here's something that I think is really cool though, and it explains the title of my entire blog in the process. (By the way, any feedback on the new layout would always be appreciated, cough cough...)
I have a picture hanging on the wall in my apartment that came straight out of a Chaco magazine. It shows four pairs of feet standing beside one another in the dirt-- three worn and calloused feet decked out in tribal gear from Kenya, and one pair of a young white girl's feet wearing her chacos with her jeans rolled up. I love this picture for a multitude of reasons beyond the fact that I have a passion for my chacos and the artsy photography. I love it because it speaks of bringing hope to the nations. It calls to my love and passion for missions. Around the picture is written the verse "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" --Romans 10:14. How special and how beautiful it is to think that the Lord blesses the feet, the lives, and the directions of those who are heading out to make His name known.
This verse for me ties right into the title and the verse running across the top of my blog: "The steps of a good man are directed and established by the Lord when he delights in His way and he busies himself with his every step." --psalm 37:23. My friend's mom and I stumbled across this verse two summers ago in an ICU waiting room in Montana and it has rocked my world ever since. We sat there that day not knowing if her son (and my friend) would recover from the terrible, horrible car wreck he had been in late one summer afternoon. (praise God for his recovery today!) That verse spoke up to us knowing that he had been walking in God's will and so long as we are striving our best to do just that, God directs and establishes our footsteps. This thought confused me for a little while but it really speaks to the fact that God has a plan for all things and there is nowhere we can ever go to escape his sovereignty in our lives. Continue to delight in the Lord's way and He will continue to guide us. We might walk through some frightening situations, but we continue to rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, knowing that He is ever in control and ever out to push us closer to Himself.
I think this has gotten slightly off the topic of traveling, but I feel that in all reality we travel each day. We travel across the street, down the hallways, through our offices, and even to other states. Each of these places are moments to be consciously and intentionally sharing the Gospel of Christ. In 2011 I cannot fathom where my feet will take me, but I pray that they take me there because my steps are being directed and established by the Lord. I pray always that I have beautiful feet that remember to bring the good news where ever I go. We'll see what happens... I certainly have no idea.
the question: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
a piece of the answer:
I absolutely love to travel. In fact, my family often makes fun of me for beings somewhere different every weekend and for running around until I completely wear myself out. I love to go, love to visit different people, and find so much joy in long car rides by myself. Driving is one of my favorite things and it's such a precious time to connect with the Lord. So often my gps takes me the back routes down the scenic paths and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've traveled more this semester than ever before but it seems only fitting considering I traveled to seven (or six, depending on how you spin it) different locations this summer with camp. Traveling has become a part of my being at this point. You really learn a lot about life when you live out of a trunk and a 12 passenger van for a few months... Just for my own piece of mind, I'm going to map out all the places I can remember going in the past year, in order to the best of my ability. I'll leave out the multiple trips to Marietta (let it be assumed) and keep in mind that almost all these places resulted in a return trip to Athens. Needless to say, my odometer is rapidly racking up...
Macon, Ga-- youth conference
Bainbridge, Ga-- my all time favorite DNow location
Nashville, Tn-- John Mayer concert with my brother
Chatanooga, Tn-- visits to my wonderful neighbor
Florida-- a much needed beach trip
Nashville, Tn-- family trip!
Campbellsville, Ky-- training week for camp
Cleveland, Tn-- Lee University for the first few cycles of camp. loved it.
Ridgecrest, Nc-- beautiful.
Buies Creek, Nc-- camp at Cambell University... I won't cry if I never go back to that town
Shocco Springs, Al-- more camp... over 1000 kids that week.
Norman Park, Ga-- favorite camp location. love.
Ridgecrest again!
Nashville again!-- departing from camp equals saddest day ever.
Toccoa, Ga-- preschool leadership retreat
Chatanooga, Tn/Trion, Ga-- wedding!
Birmingham, Al-- Needtobreathe concert with incredible friends.
Savannah, Ga-- BB King concert with more incredible friends on a random wednesday night.
Rome, Ga-- unexpected trip
Savannah again!-- awesome camp reunion complete with haunted ghost tour
St. Simons Island, Ga-- school conference
Nashville, Tn-- (I frequent that place despite it being 6 hours from my house.) day with LifeWay
Chatanooga again!-- more weddings!
Good grief! And I left so many short trips and repeats out... my goodness! Here's something that I think is really cool though, and it explains the title of my entire blog in the process. (By the way, any feedback on the new layout would always be appreciated, cough cough...)
I have a picture hanging on the wall in my apartment that came straight out of a Chaco magazine. It shows four pairs of feet standing beside one another in the dirt-- three worn and calloused feet decked out in tribal gear from Kenya, and one pair of a young white girl's feet wearing her chacos with her jeans rolled up. I love this picture for a multitude of reasons beyond the fact that I have a passion for my chacos and the artsy photography. I love it because it speaks of bringing hope to the nations. It calls to my love and passion for missions. Around the picture is written the verse "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" --Romans 10:14. How special and how beautiful it is to think that the Lord blesses the feet, the lives, and the directions of those who are heading out to make His name known.
This verse for me ties right into the title and the verse running across the top of my blog: "The steps of a good man are directed and established by the Lord when he delights in His way and he busies himself with his every step." --psalm 37:23. My friend's mom and I stumbled across this verse two summers ago in an ICU waiting room in Montana and it has rocked my world ever since. We sat there that day not knowing if her son (and my friend) would recover from the terrible, horrible car wreck he had been in late one summer afternoon. (praise God for his recovery today!) That verse spoke up to us knowing that he had been walking in God's will and so long as we are striving our best to do just that, God directs and establishes our footsteps. This thought confused me for a little while but it really speaks to the fact that God has a plan for all things and there is nowhere we can ever go to escape his sovereignty in our lives. Continue to delight in the Lord's way and He will continue to guide us. We might walk through some frightening situations, but we continue to rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, knowing that He is ever in control and ever out to push us closer to Himself.
I think this has gotten slightly off the topic of traveling, but I feel that in all reality we travel each day. We travel across the street, down the hallways, through our offices, and even to other states. Each of these places are moments to be consciously and intentionally sharing the Gospel of Christ. In 2011 I cannot fathom where my feet will take me, but I pray that they take me there because my steps are being directed and established by the Lord. I pray always that I have beautiful feet that remember to bring the good news where ever I go. We'll see what happens... I certainly have no idea.
The beautiful feet of a few of my summer staff... coincidentally all wearing our Chacos. Imagine that.
Monday, December 20, 2010
beyond avoidance
Another day, another reverb 10 prompt! Before I hop into it, I want to take just a second to say thanks for all the positive feedback I've been getting about writing. You guys are incredible and it touches my heart to think that you actually take a minute to read this. Tonight's response is a little more on the lighthearted side, but I think it was time for a change of pace.
the prompt: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
a piece of the answer:
Here's the deal: I usually read the prompts when they come out at midnight and try to think about it progressively through the day. That being said, I read this last night and probed my mind for things that happened (or didn't, rather) in the past year that I regret not doing or wish would've happened differently. After all the thinking through missed opportunities, this is the best thing I could come up with:
Learning to drive a stick shift.
Yep, that's it. I sincerely do wish I had taken that learning opportunity, but I didn't. Other thoughts I had included: keeping up with old friends, taking more pictures, being there for a friend in the midst of difficulty, and telling other people about Christ. Most all of those boil down to me being too busy or too scared to actually complete them. But why? That's dumb. What fears do we really have? Life is short and we can't make excuses, we can only try and do our very best the next time around.
So the next piece of my thought process was how I could write about living with no regrets, but I don't want to fool you by painting the picture that I have figured life out and done everything perfectly. That, my friends, would be a lie. However, I legitimately don't believe in regretting things that have happened... 2010 was a fantastic year and to change even one piece of it would change the outcome and would change who and where I am today.
And so, because I'm lacking in words tonight and feeling that my blogging is getting a bit monotonous, I'm going to leave you with an original poem. I'm making this up on the spot so it will likely be terrible and nonsensical, but hey, why be afraid to fail?
Give every day your very best
And don't regret your choices.
Listen to the ones you love
But hear the others' voices.
Don't regret the choice you made,
But don't miss any chances.
Forget about the laughs and stares
And even dirty glances.
So ride your bike, or make a speech,
Or tell someone you love them.
Decisions can be far between
so make sure you're proud of them!
This poem's getting cheesy,
and so to you I say
I might not be so great at blogging
every single day.
But guess what, I enjoy it!
I hope it makes you smile!
I like to write out what I think
once in a, once in a while.
So keep on reading,
or even don't
But remember just one thing:
You'd rather read my blog sometimes
Than ever hear me sing.
True life, I was once published in a newspaper. Shocking, isn't it? And yes, for the bonus points, one day I hope to learn how to drive a stick shift.
the prompt: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
a piece of the answer:
Here's the deal: I usually read the prompts when they come out at midnight and try to think about it progressively through the day. That being said, I read this last night and probed my mind for things that happened (or didn't, rather) in the past year that I regret not doing or wish would've happened differently. After all the thinking through missed opportunities, this is the best thing I could come up with:
Learning to drive a stick shift.
Yep, that's it. I sincerely do wish I had taken that learning opportunity, but I didn't. Other thoughts I had included: keeping up with old friends, taking more pictures, being there for a friend in the midst of difficulty, and telling other people about Christ. Most all of those boil down to me being too busy or too scared to actually complete them. But why? That's dumb. What fears do we really have? Life is short and we can't make excuses, we can only try and do our very best the next time around.
So the next piece of my thought process was how I could write about living with no regrets, but I don't want to fool you by painting the picture that I have figured life out and done everything perfectly. That, my friends, would be a lie. However, I legitimately don't believe in regretting things that have happened... 2010 was a fantastic year and to change even one piece of it would change the outcome and would change who and where I am today.
And so, because I'm lacking in words tonight and feeling that my blogging is getting a bit monotonous, I'm going to leave you with an original poem. I'm making this up on the spot so it will likely be terrible and nonsensical, but hey, why be afraid to fail?
Give every day your very best
And don't regret your choices.
Listen to the ones you love
But hear the others' voices.
Don't regret the choice you made,
But don't miss any chances.
Forget about the laughs and stares
And even dirty glances.
So ride your bike, or make a speech,
Or tell someone you love them.
Decisions can be far between
so make sure you're proud of them!
This poem's getting cheesy,
and so to you I say
I might not be so great at blogging
every single day.
But guess what, I enjoy it!
I hope it makes you smile!
I like to write out what I think
once in a, once in a while.
So keep on reading,
or even don't
But remember just one thing:
You'd rather read my blog sometimes
Than ever hear me sing.
True life, I was once published in a newspaper. Shocking, isn't it? And yes, for the bonus points, one day I hope to learn how to drive a stick shift.
healing
When I read today's reverb 10 prompt, I sighed a little and rolled my eyes. I admit that I feel like me writing about healing once again would be beating a dead horse, seeing as it's been such a heavy thread throughout my blogging this whole semester. That being said, I thought all day about how to spin this in a different direction, away from the thoughts I've already shared, but my thinking came up pretty empty on that.
the question: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
a piece of the answer:
As I mentioned, I've been on the road to healing this year and have written out countless thoughts about it... about friends who have played big parts in it, about the ways the Lord has restored me, and about the lessons I learned in difficulty. All of those things are valuable but I don't want to write about them again because I feel that there is something I have forgotten to convey through all of it and it's this: The world may have slapped me this year, but I was never really beaten by it. In the grand scheme of life, I walk away from this year having learned about the healing process so that I am more able to walk others down that road. I feel as though the people who read my blog think I'm an emotional mess some days and you know what, I can be... but the majority of the time, I sit with my head squarely on my shoulders. My sky has yet to fall, though the roof may have crumbled a time or two.
Here is the best thought I had on healing today: it's tough for us to think through the healing process because it is so tough for us to admit we are broken. If you read through my blog, you'll find moments in the past where I have been brutally honest about myself and I think this is because despite the fact that I daily check my blog stats (and am always pleasantly surprised!) I feel that I'm writing only to the air. I have admitted brokenness at times but I know myself well enough to know that I exaggerate some days. Pain always seems worse in the moment than it is in the aftermath. We can learn to find the silver lining. It's okay to be bothered by things... what it isn't okay to be is defeated by them.
I love the way the prompt phrased it as a "drip-by-drip evolution" because that is exactly what healing is. A precious friend of mine is struggling to cope right now as her dad is in the hospital. I talked with her as I drove through Atlanta the other day and she told me that she wished she could snap her fingers and wake up and it all be over and everything be back to normal. Don't we all wish that sometimes? And the truth of it is that I would've done anything to make that happen for her, but nobody can. We have to have faith in moments of brokenness that the Lord is in control. While that truth reigns clear in our lives and should guide our feet each day, there will still be hard moments and it is still okay to be upset. It's what we do with those emotions that count.
So what has healed me this year? The Lord. It's a simple answer. But He's used a lot of great tools, a lot of great people and scripture and skylines to do it. He's healed me from the specific circumstances of the year, but I pray that I never overlook the fact that he has healed me from so much more than just that. The truth of it is that we all need to be healed... the book of Romans tells us that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that the wages of sin are death. Sucks, huh? We fail. But guess what? At just the right time, the Lord sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us that we can be healed from that and saved from our sin and the death that so inevitably follows it. Romans goes on to tell us that while the wages of sin might be death, the gift of God is eternal life. All we have to do to gain that healing is confess it and believe it. (check out Romans 10:9-11 for more on that one. Message me if you want more on any of that...) I think I take for granted daily the way that I have been healed and blessed, not only with the gift of living in Heaven when I die but with the gift of living in the present and walking daily with Jesus. And I take for granted that all of you reading this already know that... you might not. And regardless, I don't want any of us to ever forget it.
Healing is a process, but it's accessible and available. Brokenness is a beautiful thing, and the healing that comes with it is oh so sweet.
I leave you now with a link to the music video I'm currently listening to. It's not really related to healing, but sort of... regardless, my friend Tim is incredibly talented, you should check him out. Confession, I had a huge crush on him a million years ago when I was a freshman in high school.
Sorry I missed midnight again, friends. Until tomorrow!
the question: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
a piece of the answer:
As I mentioned, I've been on the road to healing this year and have written out countless thoughts about it... about friends who have played big parts in it, about the ways the Lord has restored me, and about the lessons I learned in difficulty. All of those things are valuable but I don't want to write about them again because I feel that there is something I have forgotten to convey through all of it and it's this: The world may have slapped me this year, but I was never really beaten by it. In the grand scheme of life, I walk away from this year having learned about the healing process so that I am more able to walk others down that road. I feel as though the people who read my blog think I'm an emotional mess some days and you know what, I can be... but the majority of the time, I sit with my head squarely on my shoulders. My sky has yet to fall, though the roof may have crumbled a time or two.
Here is the best thought I had on healing today: it's tough for us to think through the healing process because it is so tough for us to admit we are broken. If you read through my blog, you'll find moments in the past where I have been brutally honest about myself and I think this is because despite the fact that I daily check my blog stats (and am always pleasantly surprised!) I feel that I'm writing only to the air. I have admitted brokenness at times but I know myself well enough to know that I exaggerate some days. Pain always seems worse in the moment than it is in the aftermath. We can learn to find the silver lining. It's okay to be bothered by things... what it isn't okay to be is defeated by them.
I love the way the prompt phrased it as a "drip-by-drip evolution" because that is exactly what healing is. A precious friend of mine is struggling to cope right now as her dad is in the hospital. I talked with her as I drove through Atlanta the other day and she told me that she wished she could snap her fingers and wake up and it all be over and everything be back to normal. Don't we all wish that sometimes? And the truth of it is that I would've done anything to make that happen for her, but nobody can. We have to have faith in moments of brokenness that the Lord is in control. While that truth reigns clear in our lives and should guide our feet each day, there will still be hard moments and it is still okay to be upset. It's what we do with those emotions that count.
So what has healed me this year? The Lord. It's a simple answer. But He's used a lot of great tools, a lot of great people and scripture and skylines to do it. He's healed me from the specific circumstances of the year, but I pray that I never overlook the fact that he has healed me from so much more than just that. The truth of it is that we all need to be healed... the book of Romans tells us that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that the wages of sin are death. Sucks, huh? We fail. But guess what? At just the right time, the Lord sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us that we can be healed from that and saved from our sin and the death that so inevitably follows it. Romans goes on to tell us that while the wages of sin might be death, the gift of God is eternal life. All we have to do to gain that healing is confess it and believe it. (check out Romans 10:9-11 for more on that one. Message me if you want more on any of that...) I think I take for granted daily the way that I have been healed and blessed, not only with the gift of living in Heaven when I die but with the gift of living in the present and walking daily with Jesus. And I take for granted that all of you reading this already know that... you might not. And regardless, I don't want any of us to ever forget it.
Healing is a process, but it's accessible and available. Brokenness is a beautiful thing, and the healing that comes with it is oh so sweet.
I leave you now with a link to the music video I'm currently listening to. It's not really related to healing, but sort of... regardless, my friend Tim is incredibly talented, you should check him out. Confession, I had a huge crush on him a million years ago when I was a freshman in high school.
Sorry I missed midnight again, friends. Until tomorrow!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
try.
I wasn't going to do it. I simply wasn't going to write today. I'm tired... and by the time I hit the submit button, it will inevitably be after midnight anyway. But I'm operating lately by some wise words of a man named Scott: "Get through it, not out of it.". So forgive me, friends, for being a little bit behind schedule. I think it's going to tie nicely into today's Reverb 10 prompt anyway. :)
the question: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?
a piece of the answer: I feel like I'm writing New Year's resolutions right now. Next year...
I want to try to always finish what I start.
I want to try to skip less class.
I want to try to be a better friend.
I want to try to run more.
I want to try to come home more often.
I want to try to spend more time with the Lord.
I want to try to write more often.
I want to try to get better at photography.
I want to try to be more adventurous.
I want to try to get more sleep. Please.
I want to try to be a consistent blessing to someone.
I want to try to find a wonderful internship. (any takers?)
I want to try to plan out women's ministry events in a more timely fashion.
I want to try to visit more friends.
I want to try to be ministry-minded, 24/7.
I want to try my hardest at everything I do for the sake of bringing glory to God, always knowing and being thankful that my insufficiency is made up for.
I tried a lot of new things and often stepped out of my comfort zone in 2010, and I don't regret a second of it. Every experience in life is valuable and shapes our path, our daily footsteps, and I believe that often times the scariest ones are the ones that are the most worthwhile. For whatever reason, I always think back to the week my friends and I spent on a houseboat after graduation. In between all of the swimming and laying around laughing together, we would explore the lake and climb up and jump off insanely high cliffs into the water. It was terrifying, but worth it all the while. My life feels a lot like that sometimes. I'm afraid to jump off the cliff, but it's rewarding at the bottom. In truth, sometimes when you hit the water the wind will get knocked out of you and you'll have to call desperately for help (really, that happened to me on that trip and we still laugh about it today.) but it makes for a great story and a great life lesson in retrospect. There is beauty in the unknown and hope in the knowledge that as we try things, we are assured victory in Christ regardless of our failure. So hey, why not? It'll take me a few to jump off the ledge, but I've got to come down somehow anyway, right?
just a thought.
the question: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?
a piece of the answer: I feel like I'm writing New Year's resolutions right now. Next year...
I want to try to always finish what I start.
I want to try to skip less class.
I want to try to be a better friend.
I want to try to run more.
I want to try to come home more often.
I want to try to spend more time with the Lord.
I want to try to write more often.
I want to try to get better at photography.
I want to try to be more adventurous.
I want to try to get more sleep. Please.
I want to try to be a consistent blessing to someone.
I want to try to find a wonderful internship. (any takers?)
I want to try to plan out women's ministry events in a more timely fashion.
I want to try to visit more friends.
I want to try to be ministry-minded, 24/7.
I want to try my hardest at everything I do for the sake of bringing glory to God, always knowing and being thankful that my insufficiency is made up for.
I tried a lot of new things and often stepped out of my comfort zone in 2010, and I don't regret a second of it. Every experience in life is valuable and shapes our path, our daily footsteps, and I believe that often times the scariest ones are the ones that are the most worthwhile. For whatever reason, I always think back to the week my friends and I spent on a houseboat after graduation. In between all of the swimming and laying around laughing together, we would explore the lake and climb up and jump off insanely high cliffs into the water. It was terrifying, but worth it all the while. My life feels a lot like that sometimes. I'm afraid to jump off the cliff, but it's rewarding at the bottom. In truth, sometimes when you hit the water the wind will get knocked out of you and you'll have to call desperately for help (really, that happened to me on that trip and we still laugh about it today.) but it makes for a great story and a great life lesson in retrospect. There is beauty in the unknown and hope in the knowledge that as we try things, we are assured victory in Christ regardless of our failure. So hey, why not? It'll take me a few to jump off the ledge, but I've got to come down somehow anyway, right?
just a thought.
Friday, December 17, 2010
lessons learned
I'm taking a break from all the vacuuming and baking to blog early today before the whole family arrives. There is something so beautiful about togetherness.
Today's reverb 10 prompt is a challenge for me. It's been an eventful year and I look at it in three sections-- two semesters and the summer in between. Summing all of these up in one lesson is a challenge, but I said I'd answer all the posts and so I'm going to. I won most dependable in high school, you know...
the question: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
a piece of the answer:
I think that overall the best lesson I can sum up from all the events of the year is this: in Christ, I am able. I have seen more joys than I can count this year and also conquered things I never thought possible. There are a lot of different aspects we could focus on here but I think once again I will dedicate this entry to the summer at camp...
This summer I had the blessing and the privileged of serving on the biggest team in CentriKid Camps history with the craziest schedule. We ran 12 cycles of camps in 9 weeks, didn't have weekends off, and would often say our goodbyes only to welcome another cycle of kids three hours later. We worked early mornings to very late nights and put our everything into each day, striving ever harder toward excellence so that the gospel could be proclaimed and understood by kids all over the Southeast. We ran ourselves ragged and learned that on our own strength, there was no way we would ever make it. People who find out we were on CK1 marvel at it and ask how it was possible and all of us laugh a little and willingly tell them it was all God. We couldn't have made it on our own. Really. I remember one day Jeff Slaughter, our incredible worship leader and a huge part of LifeWay's ministry, stood before us and told us "What you're doing is impossible... but you're doing it." And he was so right.
The last cycle of camp one of our staffers said this to us: he couldn't sum up the summer, but leave it to the Lord to do it for you. This passage of scripture spoke to us then and it continues to speak to me now about how able we are in Christ.
We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
--2nd Corinthians 6:3-10
Intense, huh? But true. What I have learned this year is that truly we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. I cannot believe the things I have accomplished this year... personally, professionally, academically, and even spiritually.
Alas, dear readers... the doorbell is ringing and the festivities are soon to begin.
Until tomorrow!
Today's reverb 10 prompt is a challenge for me. It's been an eventful year and I look at it in three sections-- two semesters and the summer in between. Summing all of these up in one lesson is a challenge, but I said I'd answer all the posts and so I'm going to. I won most dependable in high school, you know...
the question: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
a piece of the answer:
I think that overall the best lesson I can sum up from all the events of the year is this: in Christ, I am able. I have seen more joys than I can count this year and also conquered things I never thought possible. There are a lot of different aspects we could focus on here but I think once again I will dedicate this entry to the summer at camp...
This summer I had the blessing and the privileged of serving on the biggest team in CentriKid Camps history with the craziest schedule. We ran 12 cycles of camps in 9 weeks, didn't have weekends off, and would often say our goodbyes only to welcome another cycle of kids three hours later. We worked early mornings to very late nights and put our everything into each day, striving ever harder toward excellence so that the gospel could be proclaimed and understood by kids all over the Southeast. We ran ourselves ragged and learned that on our own strength, there was no way we would ever make it. People who find out we were on CK1 marvel at it and ask how it was possible and all of us laugh a little and willingly tell them it was all God. We couldn't have made it on our own. Really. I remember one day Jeff Slaughter, our incredible worship leader and a huge part of LifeWay's ministry, stood before us and told us "What you're doing is impossible... but you're doing it." And he was so right.
The last cycle of camp one of our staffers said this to us: he couldn't sum up the summer, but leave it to the Lord to do it for you. This passage of scripture spoke to us then and it continues to speak to me now about how able we are in Christ.
We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
--2nd Corinthians 6:3-10
Intense, huh? But true. What I have learned this year is that truly we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. I cannot believe the things I have accomplished this year... personally, professionally, academically, and even spiritually.
Alas, dear readers... the doorbell is ringing and the festivities are soon to begin.
Until tomorrow!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
friendship
I admit that I smiled when I read today's reverb 10 prompt. Friendship has been a running theme in my life the past couple weeks and I love the welcome opportunity to write about it. Goodness knows it fills the pages of my journal and is woven through my blog already.
the question: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
a piece of the answer:
Friendship for me is an inescapable part of life and I wouldn't have it any other way. This year I have seen selfless friends, friends that never fail to make you smile, friends that are always just a phone call away on a long drive home friends that will stick scripture on your bathroom mirror, friends that will drive halfway across the country to be there for each other, and friends that will lovingly poke you when you get out of line. I've been inspired by them and I've been given the opportunity to be a friend to the best of my ability as well-- a friend that stays up all night and reads to you while you throw up or a friend that will go for late night rides with you and just listen. But I admit that I have also epically failed at being a friend in so many ways. Life keeps moving but we have to remember not to leave people we love behind-- a lesson I recently relearned and am trying to improve on, but that's another part of the story.
I sit a few times a week in my campus minister's office (she too has become more of a friend than anything this year) and there is often a running thread in our conversation: how lucky I am to have so many unbelievable friends. And it's true. I have unbelievable friends practically coming out of the wood works. This year I have entered into one friendship in particular that excites me to think about. The world doesn't understand true friendship and I can't explain it either. I think I best summed up my feelings about this a few months ago when I wrote in a post: "Our friendship looks a lot like our lunches-- you bring the pasta and I'll bring the sauce. Both of us are a far cry from perfect but I believe God uses us to encourage one another on a regular basis." Becoming such good friends with him has changed my perspective on life in a lot of ways because we are two wholly different people-- I'm an enthusiastic optimist and he's quick to tell you he's a realist, a mixture that surprisingly balances out. Everybody needs encouragement, but every needs to be brought back to reality sometimes.
Change is a gradual thing. I don't work actively to change my friends, but God sure does use them to do a work in my heart. I tossed some harsh truth at this same friend last week knowing he could handle it, and the Lord spoke to me that night as I was feeling guilty about how out of character it was for me. He told me that in this particular relationship, that wasn't my job. All my job is is to love. There are other people for bitter words of truth, my job is simply to love, especially in the midst of difficulty. The Lord has taught me innumerable lessons through various people this year, and I hold that one close to my heart. I say all of that to remind you of this: friends are a picture of the way God loves us, a tangible outpouring of who He is. Love them, learn from them.
This whole story is just one of many examples of a friendship that has blessed and influenced my life and I picked it out of the multitude of stories in my mind because it is so fresh and prominent. However, I wouldn't dream of writing a blog about friendship without saying this: This summer I saw what biblical friendship was designed to be. I lived, worked, and served every single day at ridiculous hours with ridiculous expectations alongside 32 of the most diverse, craziest strangers I have ever met in my entire life. It's a blessing from the Lord that a team could conquer what we conquered and do it without having any conflict whatsoever. They have become a picture of friendship for me and I cannot thank them enough for what a blessing they were to my life for those three months and what a blessing many of them continue to be. I'll love you always, CK1 2010...
the question: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
a piece of the answer:
Friendship for me is an inescapable part of life and I wouldn't have it any other way. This year I have seen selfless friends, friends that never fail to make you smile, friends that are always just a phone call away on a long drive home friends that will stick scripture on your bathroom mirror, friends that will drive halfway across the country to be there for each other, and friends that will lovingly poke you when you get out of line. I've been inspired by them and I've been given the opportunity to be a friend to the best of my ability as well-- a friend that stays up all night and reads to you while you throw up or a friend that will go for late night rides with you and just listen. But I admit that I have also epically failed at being a friend in so many ways. Life keeps moving but we have to remember not to leave people we love behind-- a lesson I recently relearned and am trying to improve on, but that's another part of the story.
I sit a few times a week in my campus minister's office (she too has become more of a friend than anything this year) and there is often a running thread in our conversation: how lucky I am to have so many unbelievable friends. And it's true. I have unbelievable friends practically coming out of the wood works. This year I have entered into one friendship in particular that excites me to think about. The world doesn't understand true friendship and I can't explain it either. I think I best summed up my feelings about this a few months ago when I wrote in a post: "Our friendship looks a lot like our lunches-- you bring the pasta and I'll bring the sauce. Both of us are a far cry from perfect but I believe God uses us to encourage one another on a regular basis." Becoming such good friends with him has changed my perspective on life in a lot of ways because we are two wholly different people-- I'm an enthusiastic optimist and he's quick to tell you he's a realist, a mixture that surprisingly balances out. Everybody needs encouragement, but every needs to be brought back to reality sometimes.
Change is a gradual thing. I don't work actively to change my friends, but God sure does use them to do a work in my heart. I tossed some harsh truth at this same friend last week knowing he could handle it, and the Lord spoke to me that night as I was feeling guilty about how out of character it was for me. He told me that in this particular relationship, that wasn't my job. All my job is is to love. There are other people for bitter words of truth, my job is simply to love, especially in the midst of difficulty. The Lord has taught me innumerable lessons through various people this year, and I hold that one close to my heart. I say all of that to remind you of this: friends are a picture of the way God loves us, a tangible outpouring of who He is. Love them, learn from them.
This whole story is just one of many examples of a friendship that has blessed and influenced my life and I picked it out of the multitude of stories in my mind because it is so fresh and prominent. However, I wouldn't dream of writing a blog about friendship without saying this: This summer I saw what biblical friendship was designed to be. I lived, worked, and served every single day at ridiculous hours with ridiculous expectations alongside 32 of the most diverse, craziest strangers I have ever met in my entire life. It's a blessing from the Lord that a team could conquer what we conquered and do it without having any conflict whatsoever. They have become a picture of friendship for me and I cannot thank them enough for what a blessing they were to my life for those three months and what a blessing many of them continue to be. I'll love you always, CK1 2010...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
5 minutes
Confession: I just set a timer for 5 minutes, typed out my response to today's reverb 10 challenge, selected all of it, and hit the backspace button.
Some days my creative juices are lacking... but the reality of my starting over on this one is that it wasn't interesting to anyone including me so I'm taking another stab at this with a whole different approach. Take two!
the question: Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
a piece of the answer:
This has legitimately been a fantastic year and I cannot believe the expanse it has traveled. Just about a year ago today I sat in this very same room in my parents house a completely different person. I marveled a few weeks ago with my precious friend Jeremy about how far the Lord can bring us when we hand our lives and our plans over to him and I find that to be even more true as I look backwards over the year.
January first started me off in a friend's tiny hometown, unsure of what in the world the Lord was beginning to do in my life. The second semester of my sophomore year of college was nothing short of beautiful-- full of love and adventures, great friends and greater memories. I fought my way through dinner theater, spent many afternoons soaking in the joys of 3 east, and applied on a leap of faith to work at camp. I'll always cherish Monday nights with the girls and the odd Sunday afternoons I found myself laughing while feeding chickens... I tried to run from the Lord and apply for a leadership position that wasn't me and watched Him reign victorious, always a step ahead of me. I went for lots of walks on campus, had a snowball fight in south Georgia, and came to appreciate my family in a whole new light. Graduation that year is a special memory for me and as the school year came to close I cried tears of joy and terror at what I somehow knew I was leaving behind as I headed home.
I went to the beach... that was nice.
And then there was summer. I'll never forget the night on the phone when I told someone "I don't think I can do this... I just don't think camp is for me." My how wrong I was. Now, I could write a novel about the kids and what the Lord taught me about his strength and the unity among our staff this summer, but I'll sum it up by saying this: it was a life changing experience. I dream about it every single day, without fail, and no summer will ever compare to the love experienced with CK1. There were plenty of laughs, sleepless nights, broken down trucks, and pinatas. We cried together, ran together, screamed, sang, and served. It was the most amazing 20th birthday I could ask for and the hardest thing to send people of down the terminal in August... but life had to go on.
Then there was this semester, the last piece of my puzzle for the year. I built some amazing new friendships, I saw the Lord move through women's ministry, I conquered the impossible and tasted redemption. What do I want to always remember? What had the greatest impact? I could write a list of names instead of events. I got a job as AD, traveled the country, fell in love with my major, and remembered the beauty of prayer. I went rafting, saw a BB King concert, got involved with a new church, stayed in the sketchiest hotel of my life, got to serve alongside a great friend, and spoke for the first time in a public ministry setting. I went to a beautiful wedding, remembered how deeply I love my roommates, and a dumpster cat ate the pizza off my front porch. It's been a whirlwind.
Coming home for Christmas break tonight, my life looks a whole lot different than it did a year ago... not better or worse, just different. I'm marveled at where the Lord has brought me and anxious to reassess this again a year from now. Who knows what could happen...
I might have exceeded my 5 minutes. eh, oh well.
just a thought. :)
Some days my creative juices are lacking... but the reality of my starting over on this one is that it wasn't interesting to anyone including me so I'm taking another stab at this with a whole different approach. Take two!
the question: Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
a piece of the answer:
This has legitimately been a fantastic year and I cannot believe the expanse it has traveled. Just about a year ago today I sat in this very same room in my parents house a completely different person. I marveled a few weeks ago with my precious friend Jeremy about how far the Lord can bring us when we hand our lives and our plans over to him and I find that to be even more true as I look backwards over the year.
January first started me off in a friend's tiny hometown, unsure of what in the world the Lord was beginning to do in my life. The second semester of my sophomore year of college was nothing short of beautiful-- full of love and adventures, great friends and greater memories. I fought my way through dinner theater, spent many afternoons soaking in the joys of 3 east, and applied on a leap of faith to work at camp. I'll always cherish Monday nights with the girls and the odd Sunday afternoons I found myself laughing while feeding chickens... I tried to run from the Lord and apply for a leadership position that wasn't me and watched Him reign victorious, always a step ahead of me. I went for lots of walks on campus, had a snowball fight in south Georgia, and came to appreciate my family in a whole new light. Graduation that year is a special memory for me and as the school year came to close I cried tears of joy and terror at what I somehow knew I was leaving behind as I headed home.
I went to the beach... that was nice.
And then there was summer. I'll never forget the night on the phone when I told someone "I don't think I can do this... I just don't think camp is for me." My how wrong I was. Now, I could write a novel about the kids and what the Lord taught me about his strength and the unity among our staff this summer, but I'll sum it up by saying this: it was a life changing experience. I dream about it every single day, without fail, and no summer will ever compare to the love experienced with CK1. There were plenty of laughs, sleepless nights, broken down trucks, and pinatas. We cried together, ran together, screamed, sang, and served. It was the most amazing 20th birthday I could ask for and the hardest thing to send people of down the terminal in August... but life had to go on.
Then there was this semester, the last piece of my puzzle for the year. I built some amazing new friendships, I saw the Lord move through women's ministry, I conquered the impossible and tasted redemption. What do I want to always remember? What had the greatest impact? I could write a list of names instead of events. I got a job as AD, traveled the country, fell in love with my major, and remembered the beauty of prayer. I went rafting, saw a BB King concert, got involved with a new church, stayed in the sketchiest hotel of my life, got to serve alongside a great friend, and spoke for the first time in a public ministry setting. I went to a beautiful wedding, remembered how deeply I love my roommates, and a dumpster cat ate the pizza off my front porch. It's been a whirlwind.
Coming home for Christmas break tonight, my life looks a whole lot different than it did a year ago... not better or worse, just different. I'm marveled at where the Lord has brought me and anxious to reassess this again a year from now. Who knows what could happen...
I might have exceeded my 5 minutes. eh, oh well.
just a thought. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Appreciation
Today, as a celebration of finals ending and time and freedom beginning, I have decided to embark on the Reverb 10 challenge. I know, I'm starting 14 days late... but cut me some slac, college is crazy. For those of you who don't know, what this means is that I'll be blogging (hopefully!) every day for the rest of December in response to their daily prompts as a way to look back over the year and look forward to the next one. So let's get started...
the question: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
a piece of the answer:
As odd as it sounds, this year I have come to truly appreciate the beauty found in the struggles of life. I've seen a lot of hardship this year, some in my life and a large amount in the lives of others, and while I may never fully understand how we are to consider it pure joy (James 1:2-4), I have come further in seeing the beauty of the broken this year. And you know what? It's been one fantastic year because of it.
Today I found myself wandering the aisles of a bookstore, lost and dreaming per usual. I have a passion for books... not even so much for reading them as simply walking through and admiring them all. Sending me to the bookstore is dangerous, especially with the knowledge of Christmas money in the back of my head. I stumbled across a book called Expressive Photography which captivated me for it's beautiful cover but also because it's written by the authors of one of my favorite blogs, Shutter Sisters. So I bought it. Go figure. And as I sit here reading it, I'm captivated not only by the images but also by the beauty of the stories that are behind them. As I was reading it, I stumbled across a quote from a woman named Andrea that truly speaks to my heart:
"There are times when we go through the fire, when we must undergo unthinkably painful trials to grow and change, and become fully who we are. We come out on the other side new, stronger, and more beautiful for it. I think of a piece of clay being fired in a kiln and coming out even more dazzling than it was before. Colors you didn't even expect come to the surface, the whole piece stronger and more stunning."
Amen to that, Andrea. What a beautiful and realistic picture! I have come to appreciate the things that struggles teach us about ourselves and also what they teach us about those around us. I have incredible friends and family and have been more than blessed to in turn be a strong shoulder for a friend in need the past few weeks. On our last day in the classroom, my cohorts and I did an "appreciation circle" where each person stood and picked someone to say what they have come to appreciate about them this semester. The smiles on everyone's faces were priceless and wonderful and it's amazing to see how a community can bond together, especially in the face of adversity. Now, as a class we haven't faced that much adversity (other than failing papers and unorganized assignments) but there have been hurts in that room that have been soothed only with the love of friends and I can see that reflected in my own life as well-- I have incredible friends all over the country and I have truly learned this year what it looks like to give selflessly back to those who are falling.
Hindsight is always 20/20 but we must learn to take the knowledge from our pasts and apply them to our daily lives. Appreciate the struggles that we face, the shoulders we are given to lean on, and the unthinkable blessings and plans that the Lord has for our lives each day. Take them for what they're worth, friends, because life is a beautiful thing.
just a thought.
the question: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
a piece of the answer:
As odd as it sounds, this year I have come to truly appreciate the beauty found in the struggles of life. I've seen a lot of hardship this year, some in my life and a large amount in the lives of others, and while I may never fully understand how we are to consider it pure joy (James 1:2-4), I have come further in seeing the beauty of the broken this year. And you know what? It's been one fantastic year because of it.
Today I found myself wandering the aisles of a bookstore, lost and dreaming per usual. I have a passion for books... not even so much for reading them as simply walking through and admiring them all. Sending me to the bookstore is dangerous, especially with the knowledge of Christmas money in the back of my head. I stumbled across a book called Expressive Photography which captivated me for it's beautiful cover but also because it's written by the authors of one of my favorite blogs, Shutter Sisters. So I bought it. Go figure. And as I sit here reading it, I'm captivated not only by the images but also by the beauty of the stories that are behind them. As I was reading it, I stumbled across a quote from a woman named Andrea that truly speaks to my heart:
"There are times when we go through the fire, when we must undergo unthinkably painful trials to grow and change, and become fully who we are. We come out on the other side new, stronger, and more beautiful for it. I think of a piece of clay being fired in a kiln and coming out even more dazzling than it was before. Colors you didn't even expect come to the surface, the whole piece stronger and more stunning."
Amen to that, Andrea. What a beautiful and realistic picture! I have come to appreciate the things that struggles teach us about ourselves and also what they teach us about those around us. I have incredible friends and family and have been more than blessed to in turn be a strong shoulder for a friend in need the past few weeks. On our last day in the classroom, my cohorts and I did an "appreciation circle" where each person stood and picked someone to say what they have come to appreciate about them this semester. The smiles on everyone's faces were priceless and wonderful and it's amazing to see how a community can bond together, especially in the face of adversity. Now, as a class we haven't faced that much adversity (other than failing papers and unorganized assignments) but there have been hurts in that room that have been soothed only with the love of friends and I can see that reflected in my own life as well-- I have incredible friends all over the country and I have truly learned this year what it looks like to give selflessly back to those who are falling.
Hindsight is always 20/20 but we must learn to take the knowledge from our pasts and apply them to our daily lives. Appreciate the struggles that we face, the shoulders we are given to lean on, and the unthinkable blessings and plans that the Lord has for our lives each day. Take them for what they're worth, friends, because life is a beautiful thing.
just a thought.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
restoration
I was talking yesterday with a boy in my major about how often God puts us in situations we could never dream possible to remind us that we could never have gotten there on our own. I've seen multiple moments in the past week of my life where He has reminded me that I can't, but He absolutely fully can.
Last Tuesday as Sarah was speaking at bcm I literally said to myself: "Lord, I could never speak at Gathering. I just couldn't." ...and you know what I did last night? Spoke at Gathering. And it was slightly terrifying but the Lord spoke and he reminded me that He can use us even when we seem the least able to be used. I talked about how "Love is Here" and that could not reign more true in my own life right now.
But an even bigger blessing than that has happened in my life this week. A few of them actually.
I had an old friendship that ended a few months ago and to be honest it's one that I considered lost. There was too much hurt, too much involved, and I had just counted it as the one thing in my life that I was okay with being that way. We may be called to live at peace with everyone but so long as this continued to get shut out of my mind, it was no big deal that there was a broken piece of me. But guess what? God continues to be bigger than that.
I didn't ask for it, I didn't seek it out, and I didn't realize the magnitude of how deeply I needed restoration in this piece of my life. The Lord brought this person back into my life unexpectedly and cleared up a lot of miscommunications and brought a lot of healing to my soul. Friend, I know you read my blogs and confession-- I often write them in hopes that you will. So this is my way of saying thank you. I realize there was a lot more you could have said but it meant to the world to me to just have you listen, reaffirm, clear up, and somewhat mend the broken pieces. This day had a lot of potential to get messy but thank you for putting yourself aside to just hear my heartbeat. Thank you for being patient and thank you for being the sweet and wonderful person that I've always known you to be.
Amazing how God restored the one piece of my life I counted as loss before I headed out to serve kids this weekend. After talking to my good friend Daniel last weekend, I realized my heart was had not been where it needed to be lately. So he and I set out at the beginning of the week to pray over every aspect of the FCA retreat we went to lead this weekend and I cannot vocalize the implications that prayer had in my personal life and the life of tons of kids. I haven't felt so free and alive in months and my prayer was answered that I was able to fully give of myself to my girls this weekend. And you know what? I saw incredible things happen.
I could see something stirring in the eyes of my most quiet, shy girls and on the last night we sat outside a cabin in the shaking cold and she gave her life to Christ. I cannot express the joys and the frozen tears of that moment and I may never forget that beautiful revelation on her face.
I had an incredible conversation with a tiny (she really was tiny.) seventh grade girl who has more passion for girls ministry and inspiring people to live pure lives than I could ever have dreamed in seeing in someone so young. That is a huge passion of mine and what a blessing to find it in her!
I was so touched by what the Lord did through Daniel this weekend in the life of his kids, especially an incredible boy named Jack. It always amazes me how Daniel finds such Godly potential in kids-- it's an encouragement and a blessing. Check out his blog to hear more about his weekend.
One of the most touching things to me was Cabin K, a cabin of big, football playing high school boys who had a life changing weekend. I cried hearing them talk about the community built among them and how they all gained or restored their walks with Christ this weekend. I loved seeing those boys from my high school get it and knowing they will go back and live it in a difficult place.
I could ramble on now forever about the ways I have met the Lord this week but the point of it is that it's amazing when we get ourselves where we need to be with the Lord where He will take us. It's true, I could not have accomplished anything on my own, but hey... we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
Last Tuesday as Sarah was speaking at bcm I literally said to myself: "Lord, I could never speak at Gathering. I just couldn't." ...and you know what I did last night? Spoke at Gathering. And it was slightly terrifying but the Lord spoke and he reminded me that He can use us even when we seem the least able to be used. I talked about how "Love is Here" and that could not reign more true in my own life right now.
But an even bigger blessing than that has happened in my life this week. A few of them actually.
I had an old friendship that ended a few months ago and to be honest it's one that I considered lost. There was too much hurt, too much involved, and I had just counted it as the one thing in my life that I was okay with being that way. We may be called to live at peace with everyone but so long as this continued to get shut out of my mind, it was no big deal that there was a broken piece of me. But guess what? God continues to be bigger than that.
I didn't ask for it, I didn't seek it out, and I didn't realize the magnitude of how deeply I needed restoration in this piece of my life. The Lord brought this person back into my life unexpectedly and cleared up a lot of miscommunications and brought a lot of healing to my soul. Friend, I know you read my blogs and confession-- I often write them in hopes that you will. So this is my way of saying thank you. I realize there was a lot more you could have said but it meant to the world to me to just have you listen, reaffirm, clear up, and somewhat mend the broken pieces. This day had a lot of potential to get messy but thank you for putting yourself aside to just hear my heartbeat. Thank you for being patient and thank you for being the sweet and wonderful person that I've always known you to be.
Amazing how God restored the one piece of my life I counted as loss before I headed out to serve kids this weekend. After talking to my good friend Daniel last weekend, I realized my heart was had not been where it needed to be lately. So he and I set out at the beginning of the week to pray over every aspect of the FCA retreat we went to lead this weekend and I cannot vocalize the implications that prayer had in my personal life and the life of tons of kids. I haven't felt so free and alive in months and my prayer was answered that I was able to fully give of myself to my girls this weekend. And you know what? I saw incredible things happen.
I could see something stirring in the eyes of my most quiet, shy girls and on the last night we sat outside a cabin in the shaking cold and she gave her life to Christ. I cannot express the joys and the frozen tears of that moment and I may never forget that beautiful revelation on her face.
I had an incredible conversation with a tiny (she really was tiny.) seventh grade girl who has more passion for girls ministry and inspiring people to live pure lives than I could ever have dreamed in seeing in someone so young. That is a huge passion of mine and what a blessing to find it in her!
I was so touched by what the Lord did through Daniel this weekend in the life of his kids, especially an incredible boy named Jack. It always amazes me how Daniel finds such Godly potential in kids-- it's an encouragement and a blessing. Check out his blog to hear more about his weekend.
One of the most touching things to me was Cabin K, a cabin of big, football playing high school boys who had a life changing weekend. I cried hearing them talk about the community built among them and how they all gained or restored their walks with Christ this weekend. I loved seeing those boys from my high school get it and knowing they will go back and live it in a difficult place.
I could ramble on now forever about the ways I have met the Lord this week but the point of it is that it's amazing when we get ourselves where we need to be with the Lord where He will take us. It's true, I could not have accomplished anything on my own, but hey... we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
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