effective

I've been thinking about writing this blog post for quite a while now and I caught myself living in it just a little while earlier today. I think it's time to put these thoughts on (...can we really call this paper??) in hopes that it blesses someone else where they are today.


Here is what it takes to be effective in women's ministry:
(or even just to be an effective woman in ministry...)

To be effective in women's ministry there are a lot of critical things that you must know and do. I'll list just a few for you now:

To be effective an effective woman in ministry, it's really important that you be beautiful at all times. You need to have hair that looks like a salon team did it when you first roll out of bed in the morning. Your skin should be clear, your makeup should be perfect yet unnoticeable, and you should always have your toenails painted a season-appropriate color.

You should be up with the times-- maybe wearing a scarf, skinny jeans, a cardigan, and stylish boots. You'll of course look fabulous in them, because you should've run four miles this morning in between having your quiet time and packing your organic lunch for the busy day ahead. Go ahead and make an extra sandwich to share with a friend-- thoughtfulness is key.

But being an effective woman in ministry is about more than just organic sandwiches and the way you look, of course. There are also a few essential things you should have:

You'll need a really cute house. It should be both impeccably clean and decorated well enough to snap a few photos for Pinterest at any given moment (you should also be skilled at photography, just in case). You really should have at least something chalk-board painted and should have an organization system for anything and everything. Your magazines are alphabetized and your cabinets are clutter free. Fresh flowers in a mason jar are a must.

You'll need a really cute husband. He should be spiritually leading your family and the community while working and coaching little league. On Saturdays he should mow the lawn while you get ready to have your book club over for dinner.

In due time you'll also need to have a few perfect children-- probably three. They should be as good looking as you and your husband, top of the class, and never throw a temper tantrum, ever. You'll need a big shelf for their trophies and a big refrigerator in your newly renovated kitchen to hang their multitude of A+ spelling tests on.

You need a dog. One that's fun to play with but doesn't shed and certainly doesn't make a mess in your house.

You need a blog because hey, everyone is online these days. But just any blog won't do-- no, you'll need the blog with the best layout that you created with ease on photoshop after work last week; a place where you can highlight the high quality photos you took on vacation last month, share perfect crock-pot recipes with your followers, and post a link to the website you used to make those one-of-a-kind Christmas cards you sent to all your friends.

But of course being an effective woman in ministry isn't just about having things... it's also largely about doing things.

You should be volunteering weekly in the children's ministry, singing in the choir, chaperoning the youth trips, and baking lasagne for the homeless ministry every Wednesday night. The homemade kind, not the kind in the box, of course. Jesus does deserve our best.

You should meet often to have coffee with your girlfriends and those you don't see you should mail letters to. Never loose contact with anyone, never miss a birthday, and always know every detail of everyone's life.

 You should've memorized Proverbs 31. You've got it written on your mirror in your bathroom and you can turn to it in less than 20 seconds. You were, after all, the state Bible-drill champ... and head cheerleader and class president in high school.

You should be a world class crafter and throw the most elaborate three-year-old birthday parties known to man. You can have bonus points if you talk your cute husband into building you a craft room where you can organize your eyelets by size and hang your plethora of wrapping paper to be easily accessible.

You should write a book.You just should.

You should volunteer for everything. Never, ever say no, no matter how much you have going on. After all, exhaustion is a sorry excuse when nobody can get by without your help. Only you could ever solve their problems and do the work you do.

You should always speak gently and never have a bad day. Never cry, ever, and certainly don't let anyone see you angry. Some things just shouldn't be shared with others.

And if you happen to miss any of these things, try not to let anyone notice your mistake and work quickly to fix it. You've got to stay in with the crowd if you're going to be an effective woman in the body of Christ, you know.

In fact, we can really simplify the rules to this: Do good and be cute.


No.

No, it isn't true. The key to being an effective woman in ministry isn't about being cute or doing good. The truth of the matter is that it isn't about you at all. It's about Christ. The most effective form of being we can achieve is to be in His word. The most effective form of doing we can achieve is to do His will.

But it sure feels that way sometimes, doesn't it? 

We'd likely never admit it, but we catch ourselves striving to be the woman listed above because each of us feel that we've met her. The result of it is a place of exhaustion from trying to be anything outside of an imperfect daughter of the King. And you know something? I guarantee none of us have really met someone who has it all together.

Because, you see, real life is messy. People get angry, our hair gets frizzy, and our relationships get sticky. A real house gets dirty and a real person takes the occasional blurry picture. Chances are that your home didn't come straight from Pinterest and that you don't have time to accomplish your lengthy to-do list with ease. There are dishes in the sink, there's hair on the bathroom floor, and you won't admit it but you've worn this pair of jeans three times this week. You missed your quiet time and you overslept for work this morning. Praise God for the fact that His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

Am I saying, then, that it's a bad thing to have the qualities listed above? Not at all. A large majority of them are qualities that I catch myself constantly trying to achieve. There is certainly nothing wrong with any of them-- I do love to mail letters and decorate my apartment. I do love to write. I do have the world's greatest, cutest boyfriend. I do own a closet full of cardigans, and I am a lover of mason jars. The problem occurs not in these qualities but in the moments when striving for these qualities overtakes your real call to seek first the Kingdom of God.

I've personally never really been one to attempt the make life look like I have it all together but I caught myself struggling in this just today. When we aren't being uniquely who God created and called us to be, we aren't living out our purpose. We begin to live with the hopes of upholding an image so as to not let anyone down. The question then becomes who's approval you are seeking. When you figure that out, you'll see clearly who it is that you are living for.

Effective women's ministry is about seeking first the Lord and who He has created you to be to love on and invest in those around you. Nobody expects perfection of you because there is only one who is perfect. Lucky for us, He made a way so that God Himself no longer expects perfection of us. What a loving Father He is to understand who we are, to catch our tears, and to hear our insufficient prayers. If you're striving to be truly effective as a woman in ministry, minister where and how God has called you to with the best of your abilities. He will take care of the rest.

Doesn't He always?