pieces

Well gang, while it's far past my bed time I just want to take a minute to post. This past week of camp was incredible. Every now and then a week comes along where you just know from opening celebration forward that it's going to be incredible. This was one of those weeks. The energy was unceasing and the decisions leave me speechless. This may have been a small week of camp (only 214 kids) but it was a mighty one, one that will impact lives for a long time to come. We had about 40 decisions this week and everywhere you look kids were talking with staffers and adults about who Christ is and what that means for our lives. There were even countless stories of kids leading other kids to Christ-- in their dorms, in their church groups, even in the ice cream line. Anointing. We prayer walked Millsaps the night before it began and the Lord heard our prayers in a mighty, mighty way.

But believe it or not, camp isn't all of what I wanted to blog about tonight. I know, shocker. It's funny how consumed in the camp world we can become so instantly...

This morning the Lord spoke to my heart as I read through Hebrews 10, specifically verses 19-25:

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body,  and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

For the sake of time as well as the honesty of where this passage hit me this morning, I'm going to again do something that I don't do often and share the words straight out of my journal from this morning. They are as follows:

"Brokenness allows us to come closer to God. Verse 20 talks about us having access to God now since the body was broken, just like the curtain was torn. The curtain was what kept the people from the Holy of Holies and it ripped upon Christ's death, allowing full access. Just as the curtain broke, Jesus Himself also broke to allow access. That physical brokenness closed the gap between us and God. In looking at these two pictures of brokenness, is it any wonder then that the brokenness in our lives is what seems to help us draw the most near to Christ? Makes sense to me. Maybe this is why I have been yearning so desperately for brokenness lately. It's not that I want to lose hold of anything I've been given, I just recognize the extreme beauty in desperation, in those times when you can physically do nothing but cry out to the Lord-- when you can't even make words and just have to let the Spirit interpret your groaning and weeping. No wonder brokenness is so beautiful. It's a direct picture of Christ. Let us be broken as we hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."

There is a ton of brokenness on my staff. We come across so much brokenness in our campers each week. Life throws us hard situations and I always go back to what Weston says to our kids each week-- it wasn't supposed to be this way. We are made to walk whole with God in the garden, but life is continually getting in our way. My heart is heavy and I don't think I'll understand why some people live the life of Job each and every day. But I do know this-- when we have nothing left is when God tends to show us who He is the most. I think it's just because our eyes are open wider in those times. The Lord worked on my heart last year about how we live desperately when everything in our lives is beautiful. It was an interesting lesson to learn... I'm still not sure I've got it fully down. And yes, everything in my own life right now is pretty beautiful. Not perfect, but full of blessings none the less. May I pray desperately and live with the eyes of the broken regardless, giving thanks for the blessings, holding nothing too closely, and living out eucharisto.

I'll try...

It's far later than any good staffer should be up so I'm off to bed. I'll leave behind a picture or 4 from the week. I'm pretty crazy about these guys... #ck3

precious

Yes, I know it... I should really be sleeping, especially since I'm already sick, but there's just something about time to blog that is both rare and beautiful when you work at camp. So far everything has been wonderful-- stressful, but wonderful. We've arrived and (mostly) set up here in Jackson, MS and within 48 hours our first day of camp will be completely over. It's frightening how fast the time has flown by. It's frightening how big of a job the Lord has called me to this summer. I'm so humbled that He even chose me, confused at why He did, and praying that I answer His call to the best of my ability.

A couple of things that are precious to me this week:

CK3 is precious. I'll be honest and say that one of my biggest fears for the summer was how often people who have been AD's before would tell me that I would have a very different relationship with the staff than ever before. While this is completely true, it left me with the fear that I just wouldn't have any friends. I felt I'd be pouring out all day with nobody to invest back into me and this just isn't the case at all. The Lord has done mighty things in the lives of this team in the past months as well as the short time we've been together. I feel so loved and encouraged every minute of the day by these guys and girls-- they are fantastic, selfless, patient, and wonderful. Praise God for that.

Millsaps is precious. Right now I'm in my own bedroom complete with sink area, furniture, and a full size bed. My trunk is unpacked and tucked away in the top of my closet. I can breathe at night time. This isn't camp... is it? This is far too nice. And the cafeteria... let's just say that I'm praying I don't gain 40 pounds this summer. (but really. that'd be bad.) My site contact, Tiffany, is phenomenal, hilarious, helpful, and such a blessing. Not only does she get me what I need quickly at all hours of the day, she already told me she loved me. That's awesome.

Community is precious. Ohhhh Jackson... I've seen parts of you today that I never hope to see again. But I've encountered some incredible people. Today a boy helped me out in line when my arms were too full to hold 6 2-liters any longer and we ended up talking about Jesus for a few. I've also made a new best friend. His name is Paul... he works at Walmart. Sweet Paul doesn't say a lot, but I love to make him laugh. What are the odds that he'd have to check out my multi-buggy orders two days in a row? I don't think I'm done with him yet. We also built a solid relationship tonight with the man who works at the nicest laundromat I've ever seen. It's not every day that 28 college kids bring in bags of laundry and take over to do registration prep in your business. It's also not every day that the owner of that business would come to me with a flyer and ask me to call him if he could ever help us out during the week or block off a certain time for us. No worries, sir, we will absolutely be back.

Healing is precious. God is doings some ridiculous things in the lives of this staff right now. Praise God that they are allowing me to be a part of that if only an ear to hear and a shoulder to cry on. I praise Him that He's allowing me to be a part of it and I pray I never lose sight of the beauty of Him bearing our burdens. We have a lot to learn (always!) but it's been beyond words to watch it all unfold.

Daniel Teague... precious. I can't harp on this because it's late and I could definitely write a novel but how precious it is to have a boyfriend like this one. One that writes me notes that make me cry, prays over me each day, and sends me messages that never cease to make me laugh. Above all, how precious to encounter someone who cherishes his relationship with the Lord far more than his relationship with me-- and who's quick to say the same about me. So good. So lucky. So thrilled to watch the Lord use him this summer, even though I confess that so often I'd rather be selfish and just have him here to myself...

Family is precious. I've talked about my family over and over again. They are the most phenomenal blessing to me in the entire world and I miss them already. I hate that I missed out on a few big family moments by being gone, but I'm grateful to know that my family is supportive in everything the Lord calls me to-- in words, in actions, and in constant prayer. I'm beyond blessed. But you know what? Family comes in more places than just the people you're related to. I've been touched these past few weeks by the Teague family. Rachel might be one of my favorite people of all time. We've had some great conversations about life, written each other some sweet notes, and both cried together over them. She's going to do such a fantastic job this summer... I can't wait to see how the Lord pushes her into an even more loving and selfless person. Love it. I've been touched, too, by the prayers and messages of Daniel's parents. That's beyond precious to me. I've also got incredible family at Burnt Hickory, incredible family in Brewton, Alabama. And I've got yet another family-- my River Hills family. It's been hard to leave them behind in the wonderful city of Winder, but their encouragement and prayers are staying with me and I will not cease to pray over that church. The Lord is so at work in that body and hey, family is family even when spread far apart.

LifeWay is precious. I count it a major win to work for a company that is so dedicated to Christ-centered excellence and it such an encouragement. I love that on days like today when I'm stressed or worried about something, I can text JE and chat with him about what to do and where to go. Thanks, guys, for being loving and supportive and for empowering us to go out and be your leaders. It's a bold move to entrust your programming to a bunch of young adults, but it's an even bolder move to get personally invested in their lives. That's excellence and its as contagious as whatever this sickness is that's passing along between my staff.

The Lord is so, so precious to me today. Every day. He's been showing me unbelievable things in His word each morning. I'll leave you with this-- my heartbeat for camp, as well as my own life. I'll break it down further another time but for now just let it speak. There's an awful lot to this.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.  Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. -Colossians 4:2-6

Welp, I'm exhausted. Welcome to camp.