"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." --psalm 34:18


This is the verse with which I started off the morning. Sometimes in our lives, unexpected things will get thrown our way that will cause us unpredicted amounts of difficulty and for me, last night was one of those things. (I'll take a second to say I count it an unfortunate coincidence that it was exactly one year from the night my life fell to pieces last year... funny how God's timing works ironically.) Regardless, I take the opportunity every single day of my life to tell kids that God has big plans for each of our lives and that we have to faithfully have confidence that he knows exactly what he is doing so much better than we ever will. If I quote Jeremiah 29:11 once a day, I quote it at least 23 times. Today more than ever I prayed that the Lord would reaffirm me in the truth of it all.

And you know what? Our God is always faithful to hear the cries of our heart.

I cannot say that I did not trip over a change of God's plans, but I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that my God never leaves me or forsakes me, that he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, and that he works all things to the good of those who love him.

I was unexpectedly incredibly blessed by a new friend today. The chance to talk through theology and to taste and see that the Lord is good were boldly presented to me today. At the end of today, I can say that I have seen more of God in this day than I have in quite a while. (and that says something, seeing as I get to see kids come to the Lord on such a regular basis.)

Be reassured, friends, that God's timing is perfect in every single way. I can see that at work in my own life right now. God orchestrates the tiniest details of our lives and uses them to bring us peace and to shows his might, and my goodness do I know and see that at work. Thank the Lord that we do not serve a God who leaves us hanging, leaves us unsure of how He feels about us, or leaves us wondering if He is even hearing us. Our God is greater, stronger, and higher than all of that.

About a year ago this time, God revealed to me the verse I so frequently sign on the back of kids tshirts: psalm 37:23-24-- "If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.".

God has huge plans for each of our lives. I talked today with my friend about how the world cannot understand what an upbeat mood I'm in when my life is chaotic. The world doesn't understand why or how I'm doing what I'm doing and frankly, neither do I. However, the result comes from being found in Him. Being found in Christ, as a new creation. We never need anything more, and I sincerely believe that will every stitch of my heart.

True Life...

true life CentriKid, I had four minutes for dinner. A kid spilled coke on my food and I ate it anyway.

true life CentriKid, I got asked where babies come from.

true life CentriKid, I held deep conversations with some adults while totally forgetting I had a marker mustache drawn on my face.

I meant to do that... No, really.

Something that I discover more and more each day about camp is just how intentional every single piece of it. There is a reason we paraphrase stories with the bible still open. There is a reason the back of the nametag is printed upside down. There is a reason we mark boxes with red tape. There is a reason we call it hang time instead of free time. There's a reason to remove your sunglasses, a reason to wear your tube socks, and a reason to use a specific cup and pack it all a specific way.

It's a lot to learn, but it speaks so much about being intentional.

Not being a long-time staffer or camper, I can say unbiasedly that every aspect of CentriKid is planned out to a t, thought over in detail, and organized to be the best of the best. They do an incredible job and I'm proud to be a part of it. Each thing is completely made to be intentional, thus helping us lead to intentional conversations and in turn sharing the gospel with Christ.

and that is what intentional living is really all about.


It's been a long past two days, and none of us can believe that tomorrow marks only a week that we've all been together. The CK1 family has come together fast, and we're ready for our kids to get here (well, almost.). From playing "debrief that" in the van to naming boxes on the Budge to exceeding the max number of items on the checkout at WalMart (who knew that was possible?), it's been only the beginning of a great adventure. Crazy to think I'm blessed to live with 32 unbelievable people for the next two months... it's going to be great. :)

chika chika HARDCORE.

So it's been a while since an update and I find myself now at Lee University in Cleveland, TN and I can't help but remember when I was planning on going here... how funny it is that the Lord changes our plans. just a thought.

CK1 is unbelievable! I'm tired and way too full of pizza (though it's nice to finally be full...) so I'm just leaving you with a picture of the friendly faces next to me in the hall.

blog it out...

I've had a slight revelation tonight. Today has been a really rough day and I've been in kind of a funk lately-- it's all been a build up to be almost too much for me to handle. I am honestly very tired of being home and it's manifesting itself in a claustrophobic feel, one that has resulted in me being less than laura towards my parents lately, which is weird for me because God has really been teaching me all year just how precious time with people you love really is. I've been struggling some because I haven't been getting any time with the rest of the people I love so dearly and I'm just frustrated and (in true laura form) ready to keep doing and moving. I came to the conclusion that I'm sick of being at home because I am so desperately tired of not being able to serve and pour out. I feel like I really have no outlet for service and that is such a part of my heartbeat. I should be cherishing this time to rest and store up before camp, but I'm crying out that I'm ready.

And God's crying back that I'm not.

I should be making more and more of this time to store up and grow closer to the Lord, but I've been stuck in a mentality of "I'll do this tomorrow...". The funny thing about tomorrow is that it never comes. The second part to my baby realization tonight is that... (you're probably already thinking it) I'm an idiot. Who in the world says I don't have the opportunity to serve actively here? If nothing else, I have the chance to be a blessing in the lives of my parents for the next week or so that I spend in this house. What am I thinking to say that God can't use me there? You don't have to be on the mission field or even in the church to be actively used by God. I know that, why have I not been seeing it more clearly?

Romans 8: 35 says "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" Good old Oswald Chambers got me thinking tonight (he's great at that.) Should being in a position where serving is more hidden separate me from the love of Christ? Should the time I've been given of rest and preparation not be taken as a giant blessing? Stop being antsy, open your eyes to see things the way the Lord sees them, pray, seek, learn, grow, and enjoy this calm before the storm. Easier said than done? Of course.

I've got a week left. I'm going to rock it out. And you know what? I'm not waiting until tomorrow to get it started.

I'm moving.

I'm moving...

moving from laziness into being so ready for camp.
moving from hesitation into excitement.
moving from worrying that it's going to be a long summer into feeling like time is bound to fly by so fast.

and I'm getting anxious and tired of sitting around the house. How did I do this last summer? I even considered making a run back to athens to get some things and staying the night but there are a couple of empty apartments I don't really want to see...

So what do you do to channel missing it all and being incredibly bored counting down the days? space your errands out as much as you can. watch a lot of bad movies. hang out with the one friend you've got in town and thank the Lord for her. write lots of letters. work on curriculum. browse book stores. get some exercise. journal your life away. and you do an awful lot of thinking...

why is it that during the school year we wish for free time like this?

But on a more upbeat note, the Lord is beginning to show me what an amazing summer this is going to be. I've moved from being worried about a couple things to knowing God has a lot to teach me about who I am and more importantly about who He is. Bring on the challenge, I'm up for it.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." --Joshua 1:9



and I wanted to take a minute to thank my beautiful friends, Meghan and William, for letting me take their pictures a while back-- I am still SO excited for them!

beauty

Right now I'm digging even further into the question "what does it mean to be beautiful?" and getting really excited about having the chance to pour scripture into the lives of little girls this summer. The time I got to spend last summer teaching sexual purity to girls on a Navaho reservation was life changing and I'm excited to get to pour specifically into little girls again each week this summer, this time in a very different setting.

I'm praying God teaches me more as I did further into these questions and that He opens up the door for me to share scripture and impact these girls' lives. Can you tell I'm way excited?

Tonight my fascination has brought me once again to kevinandamanda.com. I fell in love with them earlier this year for their precious free fonts but I have to admit, I also love their blog-- especially the entry Amanda did about the Loft, a place I will admit to spending far too much time just this afternoon.